How to Heal
LOVESTRONG Series, Book 4
Susan Hawke
M/M Romance
Release Date: 04.14.19
Blurb
Take one former bully, unable to forgive himself for the sins of his past…
Clark Danvers is a wild twenty-one year old who’s trying to prove he’s an adult. With a two-year degree in hand, he manages the family car dealership and seemingly parties by night. Given the amount of times he’s been pulled over for speeding by Deputy Rick Matthews, public opinion seems to be right. But what people don’t see are the scars he carries both inside and out. Scars from a past he can’t run away from and will never be able to atone for, no matter how many times he beats himself over it.
Add one no-nonsense cop who longs to be a Daddy for the right boy…
Jericho “Rick” Matthews never expects the bratty kid who gets on his last nerve to pull at his heartstrings. When he finds Clark battered and fighting for his life in a motel room, Rick’s Daddy mode is instantly engaged. Before he can think of anything else, he must first comfort this hurting boy.
To equal a pair of men who might just be what the other needs.
The two men who thought they couldn’t stand each other are drawn together after a date gone wrong. While Rick tenderly cares for Clark, he decides what this brat needs is a Daddy… someone to help him break free from the past and embrace the promise of many happy tomorrows.
This is the fifth book in the LOVESTRONG series about finding love and being yourself in a small town. Intended only for 18+ readers, this is an mm romance full of all the sweet feels you’d want from an S. Hawke book.
Note: Possible trigger warning for mentions of self-harm and a scene involving a man who’s consented to having himself tied up. What he didn’t agree to was being left that way for an entire weekend. This highly emotional scene is the catalyst to evoke “Daddy’s” protective mode in a tale filled with themes of hurt and comfort and the struggle of overcoming a difficult past.
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He stopped in the doorway of the room, his shoulders slouched as he gazed at me with a curious mix of rebellion and needy hunger in his eyes. I resisted the urge to smirk as I dropped both feet to the floor, setting my wine on a side table before lifting my hand to beckon him to join me with the crook of a single finger.
Clark jerked to life, nearly stumbling over his feet like an overgrown puppy as he rushed to comply. I honestly hadn’t intended for things to go this far so soon. I’d figured spanking would come later, but I was going to roll with it. My boy deserved to have whatever he needed—even if that involved a punishment.
“Come here, boy. Stand here while I show you what to do.” I motioned for him to stand at my right side. “Very good, now face the window and show Daddy that you can be a good boy.” Clark whimpered but didn’t say a word as I lowered his underwear and pants to just below his buttocks. I didn’t bare his front side; this wasn’t about anything sexual. At least, it wasn’t meant to be right now.
“All right, now I want you to lie across my lap.”
He forgot about my rule for silence. “How the fuck am I supposed to fit? I’m too big to be on someone’s lap.”
I fought the urge to smile. This boy was not going to make it easy, was he? Grabbing his arm, I jerked him down and over my legs. “You’ll fit. But now you’ve lost the chance to get comfortable.”
Given his muscular build and six-foot-three stature, he wasn’t entirely wrong about fitting. I wasn’t a small man myself and only had about two inches on him, but we made it work. His head and feet were practically touching the floor on either side as I dangled him over my legs. I took a moment and pushed his shirt up to check on his back.
The sores were all healing nicely and he no longer even needed a Band-Aid. The sores were red and few places were scabbed, but they were all looking so much better. I ran my hand over the dozens of old and new scars, hoping that he would never again feel the need to add to this collection of pain.
Lowering his shirt, I ran my hand back down to his ass. When I began, I didn’t bother to start out easily. Clark wouldn’t have respected me if I did. Instead, I went for it and dropped five sharp smacks on his ass.
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
Before I dropped the fifth spanking, I could feel that Clark was fully hard as he squirmed against my leg, seeking friction. I smiled to myself and pulled him back a little so he wouldn’t be able to hump my leg. I dropped a sharper smack on his ass for having tried.
Crack!
“Good boys don’t try to get off without permission. You don’t get to come unless I’ve said you can. Is that understood?” At Clark’s sharp intake of breath and rapid nodding, I knew I was on the right course. “Verbal answer, boy. Is that understood?”
“Yes… Yes…” His voice sounded so deliciously needy that I had to fight the unexpected arousal that washed over me.
Crack!
“Yes, what? When you’re with Daddy, you need to show respect, boy. Consider this your first lesson.”
Clark practically moaned out his words. “Yes… Daddy.”
“Good boy.” I went back to spanking him, still not allowing him any friction yet not holding back on my part. His ass was glowing prettily, so nice and red with my handprints covering his lush globes. I slowed my spankings, rubbing his warmed flesh before smacking areas that weren’t quite as heated. I wanted him to feel this tomorrow, but I still wanted him to be able to sit down.
Smack! Smack! Smack!
I let my hand still when Clark’s body started shaking. I flipped him over in my arms and pulled him to a seated position on my lap with his head against my shoulder when I realized he was emotionally overwhelmed. Despite the heavy sobs that his body literally shook with, Clark had a glowing, beatific smile from ear to ear. He was babbling nonsense in my ear, obviously euphoric as I wrapped my arms around him and cradled him.
As I burrowed my nose in Clark’s curls, I felt myself falling into something new and unexpected. I was feeling tender toward the boy. As I carefully stroked his still-healing back, I inhaled his fresh, clean scent and realized that maybe—just maybe—this was exactly what we both needed in our lives.
As an avid reader and big romance fan myself, I love sharing the stories of the different people who live in my imagination. My stories are filled with humor, a few tears, and the underlying message to not give up hope, even in the darkest of times, because life can change on a dime when you least expect it. This theme comes from a lifetime of lessons learned on my own hard journey through the pains of poverty, the loss of more loved ones than I’d care to count, and the struggles of living through chronic illnesses. Life can be hard, but it can also be good! Through it all I’ve found that love, laughter, and family can make all the difference, and that’s what I try to bring to every tale I tell.
I’m a happily married mom with one snarky teenage boy, and three grown “kids of my heart.” I’m more widely known for my mpreg writings as Susi Hawke; this new name is a departure from that. Whether written by Susan or Susi, the books are filled with that all-important love, laughter, and family I mentioned; the only difference is that this name has no male pregnancy. I look forward to sharing my stories with you, and to bringing more romance and laughter into this world that needs it so very badly.
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