A warm welcome to author Russell J. Sanders joining us today to talk about his new release “You Can’t Tell By Looking”.
Welcome Russell 🙂
The Ache of Isolation
It’s hard growing up gay—or Lesbian—or bisexual—or transgender—or any of the variations under the LBGTQ umbrella. Gay teens lead in teen suicide rates. And why is this? It is the isolation they feel. Not only are they bullied, but they are often shunned. The best rainbow situation is when a young gay or Lesbian connects to a group of like individuals so they can share and have shared experiences. And if those gay and Lesbian teens can find a support group among their straight classmates—teens who say, “You know what? I like you. It doesn’t matter to me if you like guys, or girls, or both. Let’s hang out”—that’s maybe the ultimate. Acceptance is the most powerful motivator in saving lives.
Now, imagine you have grown up in a religion where being gay is condemned. Worse yet, the folks in the “old country,” that place where you’re parents immigrated from, abide by strict laws that shun gays or even put them to death. Maybe—just maybe—your parents have changed a bit since coming to the land of the free but still don’t accept homosex as normal. But you are gay and, even though the world tells you you live in the “home of the brave,” you don’t have the courage to come out to your parents, fearing what they will do or say. It’s hard enough for gay teens to come out to parents who were reared in mainstream America. Think of how hard it would be to come out to parents who worship differently from many of your school peers and who cling, in some ways, to old world customs.
This is what it is like for gay and Lesbian teens who are Muslim. In the best of all possible worlds, they have parents who are loving and accepting. But we don’t always live in that best of all possible worlds. And parents aren’t always loving and accepting. If you are from a Muslim family, the luck of the draw may not have dealt you parents that are progressive in thought. What if they cling to that custom that gays should be put to death? The fear of not knowing can make you feel like you are totally, abjectly alone.
This idea is one that led me to write You Can’t Tell by Looking. My knowledge of Islam comes from research. It may be total arrogance on my part to think I could get inside the mind of a gay Muslim teen. But all my reading on the subject compelled me to create a tale that everyone could relate to, that those in the Muslim community could understand and hopefully embrace, and that gay Muslims could identify with. I didn’t want to delve deeply into Islamic fundamentalism, so I shied away from talking extensively about the middle east, where many countries’ laws and religion are hopelessly intertwined. I wanted to create a suburban Muslim teenager whose parents are successful professionals, whose life is comfortable, and who is accepted in his school. But the secret he’s been keeping is just beginning to gnaw at him. And when he meets a guy he could be interested in, the exhilaration and fear of coming out collide. This is Kerem Uzun, one of the three main characters of You Can’t Tell by Looking. Kerem is the son of two doctors, a devout practicing Muslim, senior class president, and well-liked. But no one, not his family nor his peers, knows he is coming to the realization that he is gay. Will he be accepted? Or will he be isolated?
Into Kerem’s life comes Gabriel. Gabe couldn’t be more different from Kerem. Gabe is Methodist, an athlete, and openly gay. But that fear of isolation even plagues Gabe. He has grown up in a small town where he was openly and unabashedly gay, out to his family and his classmates. But Gabe is now in uncharted waters, having moved to a suburban high school in a large metropolitan area. He doesn’t want, at first, to reveal his sexuality because there is no telling how these unfamiliar kids will react. But on that first day of school, he spies Kerem across the commons, and Gabe knows he has to find out more about this gorgeous creature. Will this guy be gay? Will he be open to Gabe’s attentions? Or will he isolate Gabe?
Stirring the waters is Timur Uzun, Kerem’s cousin who has been raised in his family and is like a brother. Tim has suffered the loss of his entire family at a young age, and thus he knows what isolation is. No matter how loving and accepting his aunt and uncle have been, they are still not his own parents, Kerem is not his own brother, Kerem’s sister not his own sister. Tim lives in that dark world of isolation.
It’s a terrible thing to be isolated. To feel as if you are alone in the world. One reason I chose to write about this is because teen suicide is an epidemic in this country, and it all begins with isolation. You Can’t Tell by Looking is about a Muslim teen, but he is not alone, among those of his faith nor among his peers who practice any of the various religions you find in a suburban high school. My hope is that my novel provides support for gay teens of all walks of life.
I also hope You Can’t Tell by Looking educates others about Islam and his customs. It is an ancient religion that is not that different from the Judeo/Christian traditions. In fact, all three religions are Abrahamic religions, springing from Abraham in the Bible. Like the many varieties of Protestantism, Judaism, and even Catholicism, Islam comes in many flavors. We are all human, and humans adapt their beliefs and customs to the times and places in which they live. In You Can’t Tell by Looking, I’ve tried to provide a window into Islam, concentrating on the brand of Islam followed by many suburbanite Muslims in America.
If I can get readers to look through that window and gain just a little more understanding than they previously had, then maybe fewer gay teens will feel the enormous pressure of isolation and celebrate the uniqueness that is them. We are all alike; we are all different. We all need love and support.
Gabe Dillon’s life changes when he gazes across his new school’s commons and spies handsome Kerem Uzun, and he wants to know more. Kerem is senior class president. He is mostly very well liked. He comes from a family of doctors, is of Turkish heritage, and he is Muslim.
At first Gabe doesn’t understand the ritual he sees Kerem performing. But as the boys bond, Gabe is eager to learn about Islam. He’s falling in love with a boy who may or may not be gay, a boy whose religion may condemn Gabe’s open homosexuality.
Complicating the budding relationship is Timur, Kerem’s cousin, who has grown up alongside Kerem as his brother. A family tragedy left Timur homeless, and Kerem’s parents took him in. But as Kerem grows into his own way of looking at life and how it fits into his devout practice of his faith, Timur is becoming more fundamental in his practice of Islam. And he isn’t the only one opposed to the friendship between Kerem and Gabe. Can they forge a lasting relationship amid so many challenges?
Buy links for You Can’t Tell by Looking:
Russell J. Sanders is a man on a quest. In his travels all over the world, he searches out Mexican restaurants. A lifelong Texan, raised on Tex-Mex, he wants to try the enchiladas and other delicacies that pass for Mexican food in the far reaches of the world. He has been pleasantly surprised in Tokyo and Indonesia and left wondering in Rome and a few other places. Sometimes what the menu says and what you are served is not what is expected. But the joy is in the quest.
Russell’s also on a quest to spread a very important message: love is found in many forms in this world, and being gay or lesbian or bisexual or any other variation is normal, healthy, and wonderful. He wants his novels to bolster the confidence of gay teens and change the minds of or educate further all the others who may stumble upon his prose.
Russell’s writing joins his long career of acting, singing, and teaching, adding to his passions for cooking and reading. He has won awards for his acting and directing and has taught theater to hundreds of teens. He has also taught additional thousands of teenagers the art of writing and the love for literature. He is always in the middle of a good story, whether reading it or writing it. And he can whip up a delicious meal in minutes.
He does all this with the support of his husband, a man he has loved for over twenty years and married a few years ago. They live happily in Houston, Texas.
Visit my website: www.russelljsanders.weebly.com
Follow me on Facebook at Russell J. Sanders, author: https://www.facebook.com/Russell-J-Sanders-author-514666448554674/
Follow me on Twitter: @russelljsanders
Visit my author page on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Russell-Sanders/e/B00AVXOY80/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
View my book trailers: (all book trailers use free use public domain images and music)
You Can’t Tell by Looking: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHRoe4bBWDU&feature=youtu.be
Special Effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrVphGxgXqc&feature=youtu.be
The Book of Ethan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6IBm1CBINg
Colors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwkLr2TTpcI
All You Need Is Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsQUwQUoUzs&feature=youtu.be
Titanic Summer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVqWvlOP-PQ