Love Bytes welcomes to their blog author CS Joyce who is joining us to talk about her new release “His Heart of Mine”.
Welcome CS 🙂
Hello! Thank you for having me for the release of my new book, His Heart or Mine.
This is the first book in my new series, The Individualists and the second book in the series, The Heart Dealer is releasing on Sept 20th.
I’ve had a few people ask me about the inspiration for main characters, Adam and Jacob, and how I came up with them. But the truth is I didn’t. They sort of ‘came’ to me!
The character of Adam popped into my head one day and I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and how he would cope with being in the closet for all the wrong reasons. That was what intrigued me the most about him, the fact that he has a supportive network of family and friends but still hides away.
His decision to hide who he really is was based on an irrational fear and living his life as he thought he ‘should’. Adam always wants things to be under control. That’s a big theme in the story, this idea of control, along with the idea of running away from things, or from your true identity.
Below is an excerpt where Adam really struggles with this idea of who he should be.
CS Joyce
No way, uh-uh. Not happening. I am not going to even think about being inappropriate with him. Especially in a hotel filled with my family. No. Just no.
I continued having this conversation with myself all the way back down the corridor to my hotel room. Once inside, I paced back and forth, shaking my clenched fists, and resisting the urge to punch the door. My arms were trembling, and I tried to take a few deep breaths. I can’t lose control of myself, I muttered through gritted teeth as anger coursed through me. What the hell was I doing?
I took several deep breaths, slowing my inhale until I could count to six and then the same on the exhale. I needed to get a grip on my rage. But he made me angry. This entire messed up situation made me angry.
I lay down on my cold bed now, utterly defeated. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to control this thing.
What terrified me the most was that it seemed to be getting harder to stay in control and harder to keep my anger in check. I felt like a pressure cooker about to explode. And there was no question that Jacob was the one turning up the god damned heat.
It had taken more willpower than I had to leave his hotel room and that scared me. Being around him did something to me. He did something to me.
I stared at the ceiling and took another slow, deep breath. I was frustrated, in every sense of the word.
Leaning over I turned off the bedside lamp, sending the room into pitch black. I knew what I wanted for my life. I had the perfect business, good friends, a nice home. All that was missing was someone to share it with. No, not someone, a woman. That fit into the picture I had imagined for myself. That was what people expected. And that was what I wanted too.
Well I’m not going to find it by sleeping with some random stranger at a wedding, I said out loud. And I won’t find it by sleeping with the wrong person. I closed my eyes tight and repeated the same thing I told myself whenever these feelings became too strong – I’m straight. I. AM. STRAIGHT.
I winced at my own words, but I repeated them over and over until a sense of calm returned.
“There’s something about the way he’s looking at me now, determined. Like he might ruin me if given half the chance.”
Adam:
Success can mean a lot of things. To me it meant living a lie and getting away with it.
But pretending is exhausting. My sister’s wedding in Italy was exactly what I needed. A week on the Amalfi coast with sunshine, wine, and zero complications.
Too bad the universe saw an opportunity to ruin that plan. Because what could be more complicated than the arrival of an attractive man who sees right through my act? One that is determined to remind me that you can’t hide who you really are.
What if he tells people my secret? Or, worse still, what if I can’t control these feelings. Because right now I’m feeling all sorts of things – fear, anger, lust…
No, I need to keep this thing under control. I can’t give in.
But what if, just once, I didn’t fight it?
Jacob:
After a series of bad decisions, running away to Italy seemed like the perfect escape. A fresh start in a new country. Nothing, and no one would bring me back to Ireland.
When I meet Adam at my friend’s wedding, I’m captivated. There’s something about this rugged stranger that makes me forget that I keep messing up every part of my life.
I know it’s a bad idea and I know I’m playing with fire. But when anger turns to passion I know I can’t stay away.
He can pretend all he wants but that man belongs in my bed. He might only be here for one week, but I intend to make the most of it.
After all, I can’t ask him for more when I’m not sure I’ll stick around.
But what if, this time, I didn’t run?
September 14 – The Novel Approach, September 15 – Momma Says: To Read Or Not To Read, Amy’s MM Romance Reviews, September 17 – Love Bytes, Open Mind For A Different View, Scattered Thoughts & Rogue Words, September 21 – Mirrigold, Wicked Faerie’s Tales & Reviews, MM Good Book Reviews, Book Review By Virginia Lee
Author C S Joyce is infatuated with love, romance and the complexities of relationships. In her novels she tries to capture that elusive spark of love and add a little magic of her own.
She writes contemporary MM romance with a dash of humor thrown in, because love and laughter go great together.
You can stay up-to-date with new releases by signing up to Carrie’s newsletter on her website: www.csjoyce.com
Or you can find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/csjoycebooks/
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