A friend of a friend posted his engagement to his soon to be husband. They’re both young, (kids really) mid to late twenties, and it’s awesome to see. I mean when I was that age, forget marriage, we were fighting to be able to hold hands in public without getting beat up. But it got me thinking, and that’s a dangerous thing.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I remember feeling grateful to the ones who came before me. The Stonewall Generation fought to get us basic right. I thought how lucky I was to live in a time where people tolerated us, albit just a bit. We were seeing gay people being elected to office, coming out in theatre, there were gay athletes who came after their careers were over and more. We were ‘allowed’ to live together as couples, in the same apartments or houses. Some of us even dared to believe we could one day have children. To me that was ‘great progress’ and I felt fortunate to live in those times. It didn’t dawn on me the prior generation didn’t see things the same as I did.
Fast forward nearly thirty years and the things we thought we could only dream about are closer to reality than a dream. That’s great, but it comes with a bittersweet taste for me. By the time Maryland passed marriage equality, Mike and I were together for 17 years. We’d bought a house (3 actually and sold two), had a child, set up all our financial accounts jointly, and even had estate planning. Our engagement consisted of us watching the election returns and when it was clear marriage equality would pass, we looked at each other and asked when we were going to get married. Now, being fair, we discussed it many times before the 
election and had decided we would get married if it passed.
This doesn’t take away the good feels of getting married in front of my family. And the ‘delay’ allowed me to get married holding my daughter, who looked adorable in her first ‘formal’ dress. But we missed the excitement of someone planning to ask and someone being shocked into tears by the proposal. (Okay, so that’s a bit of romantic musing, but you get the idea.)
I suppose this is how the generation prior to mine felt watching us – glad they could see their activism to its fruition, but left wondering what it would have been like to have experienced it themselves when they were young. To be clear, having the freedom to get married is nothing to brush off. After all, entire generations before us never got anything close to what we had/have. Still, as a romantic at heart, I can still wish.
Hopefully future generations will look back and try to imagine what it would have been like to be afraid to hold hands because there were no civil rights for LGBTQ people. Or what it is like not to expect to marry the person they loved if that’s what they wanted, because marriage equally wasn’t a thing. That’s the next step in the evolution of acceptance. The thing we can put on our wish list now and expect it to come true in our lifetime.
Andrew Q. Gordon wrote his first story back when yellow legal pads, ball point pens were common and a Smith Corona correctable typewriter was considered high tech. Adapting with technology, he now takes his MacBook somewhere quiet when he wants to write.
Since devouring The Lord of the Rings as a preteen, he has been a fan of all things fantastical. His imagination has helped him create works of high fantasy, paranormal thrills and touch of the futuristic. He also writes the occasional contemporary story.
He currently lives in the Washington, D.C. area with his husband of twenty-three years. Together they are raising their daughter and three dogs. Andrew tries to squeeze writing time in around his most important jobs, being husband and ‘Papa.’ Along with teaching how to kick a soccer ball or ride a scooter, he has become fluent in cartoon characters and children’s books. To find out more about Andrew, his writing and his family, follow him on his website or on Facebook.
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Same here, enjoying new freedoms, and grateful to the ones who came before me. I hope the yung’uns think that of us, but so much more to do. So I hope the gen after these yung’uns can say the same about them, meaning the progress will continue.
Agreed, and after seeing what the young ones can do, I have hope they are going to move the needle further. As you said, so much still to do on so many fronts. (not just LGBTQ issues) there’s work for several lifetimes to come.