Reviewed by Becca

TITLE: Living on Air

AUTHOR: Susan Mac Nicol

PUBLISHER: Boroughs Publishing Group

LENGTH: 236 pages

RELEASE DATE: February 21, 2018

BLURB:

PIERCING THE NIGHT
Cary Stilwell has been existing since he was ten years old, and each year it gets harder to find meaning in his bleak life. The only exception – his work. As a top-billed aerialist in a popular travelling circus, he enjoys accolades and applause, but little else. When notable photographer, Rhys McIntyre, joins the circus to catalogue its inner workings, Cary fights the attraction that hits him from the moment they meet. But a kind soul wrapped in a beautiful body has a way of battering all the walls Cary has built around his cold, dark heart.
WITH LIGHT
Rhys McIntyre is on his third iteration of reinventing himself. Once a hotdog financier, he embraced his passion for photography and became an eminent war photo journalist. Until one too many bullets lodged in his body, and he gave up the front lines for the softer side of chronicling life. When he accepts the assignment to record life in a circus, the last thing he expects is to find the man crush of his dreams. Except Cary Stilwell is a cold, tortured man who seems incapable of any warm emotion, never mind love. But Rhys is known for his persistence, and this time the pay-off might be more than he could have ever imagined.

REVIEW:

I’m going to say right off the bat, I didn’t find it listed, but there are some major trigger warnings for this book. Rape, abuse, murder, self-mutilation, possible PTSD from war zones, and those are the ones that first come to mind. I think this was an exceptional book but if any of this bothers any of you, please take care. Health comes first.

Now, this was a tough book to read because of the aforementioned traumas, but it was such a good book. In spite of all the….well, shit…happening in Cary’s life, past and present, this is also a story of facing one’s fears and hope. And one thing that I’m SO FLIPPING glad the author kept mentioning. People who have been through such traumas are broken, yes. They are beaten down and unfortunately, some don’t survive. But those that survive are still moving. Things are not going to be perfect. IT’S AN EVERYDAY PROCESS! There are good days and bad days. Some in between days. But just because they are broken and a little bent, doesn’t mean they are garbage and to give up. There’s hope.

Cary is a haunted man. Turning to the circus at age 10, after a horrible night and years of trauma. He is found by Greta under a caravan and mothered him. She knew he came from something bad but couldn’t give him over to anyone. Cary needed a mom and someone to care for him. But the years of torment in his mind have had a powerful effect on him. Several suicide attempts have led him to focus all his energy on being a performer. An aerialist. And he’s amazing. Despite having counseling at some point, Cary is still haunted and keeps himself extremely closed off, until one man started knocking chinks out of his armor. Rhys has affected Cary in ways he thought were dead. But Cary is terrified. And Rhys isn’t giving up. But too many times of being pushed away may be more than Rhys can take. He’s trying but Cary’s past is back in front and where Cary was once starting to blossom, the light has faded away again. It will take a lot to get over this hurdle. Hopefully before it’s too late.

It never fails to amaze me the strength survivors have. Although, most survivors I know, have serious guilt issues or other things that develop. It’s hell on the mind. But to be able to go through those traumas, and come out the other side, is a strength. Even when all you feel is weak. Or worse. And Cary was no different. Being 10 years old and going through what he went through was indescribable. And feeling like it was all his fault broke my heart. For years he has tormented himself in this way. But facing your fears or your background is never easy. And I hate when victims feel that. Of course that’s what asshole predators prey and count on. What I loved even more about Cary, though, is he did finally realize he had to make the change. For himself. Face his fears and move on. Love life to the fullest. Rhys I admired and loved so much. Facing his own set of demons, he didn’t give up on Cary. Even when he knew he had to walk away, he never really gave up. He held on to hope.

And that’s what’s so important. You don’t have to be religious or whatever. If you are great. But hold on to hope. Don’t give up. There’s always a glimmer of light at the end of that darkness.

Such a good book. Such a good book. I’m still floored over it. Definitely recommend but have a care at triggers.

RATING:  

BUY LINKS: 

boroughspublishinggroup

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