Thanks to Dani and the team for inviting me to write an article about trans representation for International Transgender Day of Visibility. It’s an honour to be here.
As a transgender man, I’m speaking from a deeply personal perspective when I say that visibility and representation is enormously important. I was born in 1971, so I grew up in the days before the Internet and social media. I always felt as if something about me was different, but as a child, teen, and young adult I had no way of finding my tribe — because I had no idea who my tribe was.
That was the issue. Despite knowing as a child that I didn’t feel like a girl, I didn’t understand that this was something other people felt. I didn’t know there was a word for what I was, and I didn’t know that it was possible for me to grow up into a man rather than a woman. I do remember reading an article about a trans woman when I was a teenager, and being fascinated by the concept of someone changing their gender. But I never saw any representation of trans men in the media, so it never even occurred to me that it was possible for someone to be FTM (female to male) transgender.
I spent many years feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, and ‘wrong’ without understanding exactly why. It’s only in retrospect that I know I was suffering from gender dysphoria: “A condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because there’s a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity.” (definition from the NHS website)
What’s wrong with me?
A story finally gave me my answer
A message in a bottle tossed into the ocean of the Internet and washed up on my screen I read, devouring the words Transgender. FTM. The recognition was a punch to the gut The words a map of my escape route
(excerpt from Glass Walls by Jay Northcote)
In 2012 I read something that changed my life. Reading about a trans FTM character in a fanfiction story finally gave me the missing piece of the puzzle that allowed me to understand who I was. Despite an immediate shock of recognition, it still took me four more years to dig my way out of denial and fear and take the decision to transition. But that story set me on the right path.
This is one reason why visibility is important. It helps transgender people work out who they are and know that they are not alone. Of course, visibility also helps cisgender people to understand trans people better and learn how to be good allies to them.
However, visibility isn’t only about trans people sharing their stories. Yes, advocates who blog and vlog and post on social media do a huge amount for raising awareness. But it’s vital to understand that many trans people don’t want to be visible in that way. They may prefer to not disclose their history, or they may not live in a place or a situation where it would be safe for them to do so even. Visibility is also about positive representation: in books, in movies, and TV shows. Well-crafted, realistic portrayals of trans characters play an important part in the acceptance and understanding of transgender people by the general public.
Transgender people are more visible than ever before, but this new scrutiny comes with a price. In the UK, Trans rights are a battleground and the anti-trans media only becomes louder and more vociferous. Trans people see this hatred spewed on the pages of newspapers, and on social media. The articles are bad enough; never read the comments. No wonder the statistics are still grim reading: In Britain today 8 in 10 young trans people report self-harm, and nearly half of them have attempted suicide.
Transgender people are here and we’re not going away. We just want to be able to live our lives without fear of hatred, discrimination, or harassment, but sadly this battle is far from over. I have to believe that love is louder. The only way to combat this hatred and ignorance is with information, and with positive representation.
On International Transgender Day of Visibility, this is my message to you.
My trans siblings: Whether you’re an out-and-proud advocate or just living your life quietly, keep on being brilliant, brave, and authentic. You’re amazing. Be proud of who you are.
Allies: Please keep on supporting trans people. Keep educating yourself, read, ask questions, seek out unbiased sources of information. Stand up for us, challenge bigotry and ignorance when you encounter it. Remember there will be trans people in your life even if you don’t know about them, and whether or not you know their history you can still support them every day with your words and actions.
Questioning people: If you think you might be transgender, you are not alone. It’s scary as hell, but it gets better. Don’t be afraid to reach out and find support. There are online forums, groups, helplines etc, and my inbox is always open.
***
If you would like to know more about trans issues this link is a good starting point:
https://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq
If you’d like to know more about my personal experiences as a trans man, I blog about transgender related things here:
https://glasswallsftm.wordpress.com
Finally, if you’d like to read an #ownvoices story with a trans main character, Starting from Scratch is free to download from Amazon today and tomorrow (31st of March and 1st of April).
Starting over isn’t easy, but Ben is ready to live his life as the man he was always meant to be.
Ben is transgender and back at university after hormone treatment and chest surgery. His new housemates have no idea about his history and Ben would prefer to keep it that way. He’s starting from scratch and his life is finally on track, except in the romance department. The idea of dating guys as a guy is exhilarating but terrifying, because if Ben wants a boyfriend he’ll have to disclose his secret.
Sid is drawn to Ben from the moment they meet. He normally gets what he wants—in the short term at least. Ben’s guarded at first, and Sid’s not used to guys rejecting his advances. He eventually charms his way through Ben’s defences and helps Ben on his journey of sexual awakening.
It doesn’t matter to Sid that Ben is trans. He’s attracted to the whole person, and isn’t worried about what is—or isn’t—in Ben’s pants. They’re good together, and both of them are falling hard and fast, but Ben’s insecurities keep getting in the way. If Sid can convince Ben he’s committed, will Ben finally be able to put his heart on the line?
Although this book is part of the Housemates series, it has new main characters, a satisfying happy ending, and can be read as a standalone.
Length: 57,000 words approx.
About Jay
Jay lives just outside Bristol in the West of England. He comes from a family of writers, but always used to believe that the gene for fiction writing had passed him by. He spent years only ever writing emails, articles, or website content.
One day, Jay decided to try and write a short story—just to see if he could—and found it rather addictive. He hasn’t stopped writing since.
Jay writes contemporary romance about men who fall in love with other men. He has five books published by Dreamspinner Press, and also self-publishes under the imprint Jaybird Press.
https://twitter.com/Jay_Northcote
https://www.facebook.com/jaynorthcotefiction
Newsletter: http://tinyurl.com/JN-readers
Jay’s books: http://author.to/jaynorthcote
I’m a 1969 model, and I can totally relate to this post. Representation is so important. I first found out about ftms after visiting a forum for people questioning their sexuality/gender a few years ago. It didn’t take me long to find my way to the ftms, and I felt an immediate sense of recognition and belonging, for the first time in my life. The first time I saw a video of a transman who had transitioned, I felt a shiver down my spine, and was filled with envy for what could have been. I choose to identify as nb at the moment because transitioning would be difficult, but if I were younger, in today’s world, with the knowledge I have now, I would do it without hesitation.