Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31st
Transgender Day of Visibility isn’t just a day to celebrate transgender people as a whole but also to raise awareness of the discrimination or the specific issues that being transgender entails. I believe in making all people aware of these issues and the different types of discrimination we face. People need to be informed. I believe that the more information that is put out there, the more people are likely to make a well informed thought or decision regarding transgender people. I agree that a lot of people just don’t care, are apathetic, or just plain don’t want to know. But we have to try.
Visibility and Me
I am 34 and just came out as transgender July 17th, 2017, not even one year ago. Before this, I only realized I was transgender a month before that. I was utterly clueless about what being transgender even was. All I knew (literally) was sometimes ladies had penises, and friends in the past didn’t have very many nice things to say about them. That was it. I didn’t even realize that a man could be born in a woman’s body. How could I have been so blind? I still am trying to work that out in my head. It’s mind-boggling.
This is one reason why this day of visibility is so important to me specifically. I don’t want what happened to me, happen to others. I feel like I missed out on the best parts of my life (my 20s) just going through the motions and hating myself and not knowing why I felt so different from all the women in my life. The answer is simple, biologically i have female parts. Everything else is male. From the way I think to the way i want to dress, to having facial hair (even before hormones).
We grow up in a society where there is a certain way women do things and there is a certain way men do things. Period. Growing up in a strict Christian home, those rules were strictly enforced. If not strictly enforced, the female persona was forced on me. People who I looked up to had husbands and babies. They wore makeup everyday, got their nails done, spent money on the best and cutest women’s clothes. My mom picked out my clothes until I was a Sophomore in high school. If I didn’t wear what she liked I was constantly nagged to put something else on. I didn’t know any better. I was a follower. Never my own mind, always someone else’s. I say these things because there are a lot of people out there just like me. Maybe they haven’t gone through exactly what I have. But the premise is there. People are blind. People need to see.
The BIG reasons why we need transgender visibility
I have been lucky to feel somewhat safe my whole life. I don’t know if it’s because I am bigger than most people, have resting b**ch face or what. But people don’t normally come at me or say things directly to my face. Unfortunately I am the minority when it comes to this. Here is an infographic that I picked up, it explains a bit about how unsafe transgender people feel:
When I look at these numbers I feel so horrible.. No one deserves to be treated this way or feel this way. The more people that understand transgender people are regular people, the less hate there will be. I think, as a whole, we are on the right path. But it is everyone’s job to keep the knowledge growing.
Know transgender etiquette. For example: Ask for pronouns if you don’t know. Most people won’t get offended. Absolutely do not ask what “parts” or surgeries someone has. It’s not your place to ask about someone’s genitals unless they tell you. Try and use their preferred name; if you accidently use their birth name, correct yourself and move on, you don’t have to make a big deal about it, it happens 🙂
Here is a good ally site to read through, it gives more etiquette tips:
https://www.glaad.org/transgender/allies
Here is a nice infographic (cuz everyone LOVES them lol) with a link to the page it was originally on. It’s straight and to the point! https://www.transawareness.org/what-pronouns-should-i-use.html
Knowledge IS power. Share your knowledge! Don’t be afraid to stand up for what is right.
Here are some websites for MORE ideas of what to do to help with or celebrate transgender visibility (on March 31st or throughout the year!):
http://aidamanduley.com/2016/03/31/12-ways-you-can-celebrate-trans-day-of-visibility-year-round/
http://www.transstudent.org/tdovaction
https://www.bustle.com/p/8-ways-to-participate-in-transgender-day-of-visibility-48259
HRC (Human Rights Campaign) has a wonderful page with links to general information about how to understand transgender people as a whole, how to deal with transitioning at work, story videos, and tons more.
https://www.hrc.org/resources/international-transgender-day-of-visibility