Every year about this time, people start talking about New Year’s Resolutions. I personally did a terrible 
job of looking forward to 2017. Like most of the people I know, I dreaded what would happen with the new administration in Washington. I turned off the news, rarely stopped in on social media, and tried to pretend that 2017 was going to be a year like any other.
Where did it get me? To say that I feel stuck in a feedback loop would be an understatement. But make resolutions for a better 2018? I’ve gone the New Year’s Resolutions route and failed too many times to take it seriously.
So what to do about the end-of-the-year-blues? Do something little. Take teeny-tiny, baby steps and pat yourself on the back when you move forward instead of setting your sights on the moon and beating yourself up for failing.
Micro resolutions can lead to big changes. Here are 3 steps for a happier 2018:
Micro Step One: Focus on Yourself
Yes. It’s okay to focus on you for a change. Want to lose 20 pounds? Want to get into shape? Great. Most
of us do. Now forget the gym membership. Forget the treadmill that ends up being a great place to hang your clothes. Forget the “I’ll never eat dessert again” mantra.
Pick something small and focus on it. Little things like making sure you always have a bottle of water on your desk when you’re working and drink it. Limiting second helpings except on the weekends. Eating a good breakfast that’s high in protein. Getting out to exercise—wait for it!—at least once a week. Limiting alcohol to the weekend.
Just choose one tiny thing.
Will this help you lose weight or get in shape? Maybe, maybe not. But they’re small changes you can live with and stick to. And if you feel better about what you’re doing for yourself, you’ll, well, feel better.
Micro Step Two: Practice Kindness in Your Community
Do something good for your community. A very little something. Volunteer for an hour a month. Donate a little money to a worthy cause. Give up your seat on the subway or bus to someone who needs it more. Send a note to someone who is grieving. Surprise someone who needs it with a pick-me-up gift. Even something as small as a bar of special soap, which costs about $5, could make a big difference in someone’s life.
The point is to do something. Anything, however small, to make a difference. Will you make sure your candidate wins in the next election? Probably not. But you’ll make your community a tiny bit better.
Just do one tiny thing.
Micro Step Three: Don’t Judge
It’s so easy to judge. I catch myself making judgments about people all the time. The person who backs into a parking space, making everyone trying to get out of or into the parking deck wait. The guy in front of me who doesn’t use his turn signal. The woman who cuts me off on the freeway.
Life is full of tiny irritations. And each time I get irritated, I make judgments about people. I assume they’re inconsiderate. Selfish. Ignorant.
In this world of head to head, polarizing politics, practicing kindness is harder than it sounds. But here’s where a micro resolution can make a difference, not only in how you feel, but in the wider world.
The person who backs into the parking spot? Maybe they leave at a time when the parking deck is really busy and they’re afraid to back out of the spot at night. The guy who doesn’t use his turn signal? Maybe his partner is sick, or he had a terrible day at work and is distracted. The woman who cuts you off? Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend and she’s angry or hurt.
Just once, don’t judge. Counter with kindness. Think about the old saying that before you judge someone, you need to walk a mile in their shoes. If you need to, come up with a sympathetic reason for why they did what they did to irritate you, and let it go. It’s a win-win, because you’re the one who will feel better for it.
One tiny change of attitude.
And that’s it: focus on yourself, make a difference, and practice kindness in tiny, micro bits. Resolutions we can live with and accomplish.
I wish you all a wonderful 2018! -Shira
******
Shira Anthony was a professional opera singer in her last incarnation, performing roles in such operas as Tosca, i Pagliacci, and La Traviata, among others. She’s given up TV for evenings spent with her laptop, and she never goes anywhere without a pile of unread M/M romance on her Kindle. You can hear Shira singing “Vissi d’arte” from Puccini’s Tosca by clicking here: Shira’s Singing
Shira loves a great happily-ever-after and never writes a story without one. She’s happy to write what her muse tells her, whether it’s fantasy, sci fi, paranormal, or contemporary romance. She particularly loves writing series, because she thinks of her characters as old friends and she wants to visit them even after their stories are told.
In real life, Shira sang professionally for 14 years, and she currently works as a public sector attorney advocating for children. She’s happy to have made writing her second full-time job, even if it means she rarely has time to watch TV or go to the movies. Shira writes about the things she knows and loves, whether it’s music and musicians, the ocean, or the places she’s lived or traveled to. She spent her middle school years living in France, and tries to visit as often as she can.
Shira and her husband spend as many weekends as they can aboard their 36′ catamaran sailboat, Land’s Zen, at the Carolina Coast. Not only has sailing inspired her to write about pirates and mermen, her sailboat is her favorite place to write. And although the only mermen she’s found to date are in her own imagination, she keeps a sharp lookout for them when she’s on the water.
I like this! I think I can manage a few tiny things. 🙂
Hi, thank you for the ideas. I found this through an alert for microresolutions. Have you read Small move big change? It’s good…Thanks again!