The Making of a Fictional Rock Star

When I first decided to write about the rock music industry, or more specifically, alternative rock, I wanted to make my rock god the epitome of what drew me in as a fangirl back in the day. Because I was playing out in my own band in Hollywood, the Sunset Strip and so on, I met many, many other singers and musicians also pursuing the same rock star dreams that I was. Some of those singers, in my opinion, deserved to be up on the big stage and touring the world just as much as the major players such as Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam, Layne Staley from Alice in Chains, or Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails.

There was one guy in particular – let’s call him John – who I was convinced was right on the edge of making it. He was the lead singer for a side project that also included a member of NIN and one from Stone Temple Pilots. I knew he had his eye on me, so I wasn’t so sure about his insistence that I go to one of his shows being held at a small club in the Valley. Relationships with musicians are a living nightmare, which was part of the reason it was so fun for me to write an HEA for Aubrey and Bryan. (As a side note, I’m sure I was just as big of a nightmare, so I’m not just singling out the boys.)

I’d never been to one of his gigs, I only knew him from our mutual circles, had hung out with him at the clubs, and so on. One of my good friends convinced me at the last minute that we should definitely go. She looked almost exactly like Pamela Anderson, so if I didn’t want to get picked up by a rocker dude, I’d bring her along to shield me. Once a musician laid eyes on her, I would instantly become invisible.

Since I’d dragged my heels about going right up until the last minute, we arrived close to the end of his show. There were actually seats at this particular club – not a norm for most – and nowhere to stand. However, the only ones left were right at the very front of the stage. After a good shove, she encouraged me to go ahead, and I reluctntly made my way to the front row.

So far, I hadn’t been paying much attention to the band. Since I was at a venue I’d never been to before, I was gauging the layout in the dark area, trying not to trip over people, and getting my ears adjusted to the cacophony of guitars and drums. I finally managed to get to my chair where I quickly sat down, certain I was safe from discovery by John. He’d been prowling around the stage, holding the mic with both hands as he screamed into it, so I doubted he gave a shit about two stragglers climbing over people in the front row.

When you’re on stage and the lights are shining right in your eyes, you can barely see more than a couple feet in front of you, and you can rarely make out faces in the audience. But once I’d settled, it occurred to me that he probably could care less anyway. Hot rocker dudes constantly invited chicks to their shows so the house would be full and they’d have a better chance to play at that particular club again. There was a good chance he might only vaguely remember me from the clubs and possibly forget that he’d invited me at all.

Obviously I’d been too presumptuous. I did a lot of inner eye-rolling at myself, because really, I’d built up the invitation in my mind into something that it certainly wasn’t. So I settled back to see what all the fuss was about since the buzz on his band was pretty high. And hot damn. He was incredible. The band and songs were incredible. I’d always thought he was gorgeous just standing around a club with a beer in his hand, but on stage pouring his heart and soul out in a song? Breathtaking. I was positive in that moment that I was witnessing the birth of another superstar.

As it turned out, his invitation had been genuine after all. I guess I was close enough to the front that he’d been able to spy me in the audience. The last two songs were sung to me personally, and wow, talk about a rush. When the show ended and he jumped off the stage, grabbed me in front of everyone and stuck his tongue down my throat, it was an over-the-top, dramatic Hollywood moment – except for the part where it was real.

Sadly, his band didn’t make it, along with many other worthy contenders. We didn’t get very far together either, primarily because he did the right thing and moved away from Hollywood back to the mid-west to take care of his small son when his ex-wife couldn’t. Not all rockers are nightmares after all.

So while Aubrey King from Rockin’ the Alternative and Rockin’ it Forever is fictional, and I used Eddie and Trent as inspiration, the essence of him belongs to John. I don’t know those famous singers personally, so I couldn’t grasp what really matters to them, what makes them tick. I know how I felt, what music and the industry meant to me, but in creating Aubrey, I took John’s passion and his love of the drama to inform a lot of Aubrey’s character, as well as some of his situations.

Hopefully, John is still rockin’ it out there somewhere, because his talent was real.