A warm welcome to author Kage Alan joining us today on the blog tour for anthology “Butt Villians On Vacation”.
Welcome Kage 🙂
Arroz con Leche! That’s Swedish for ‘hello in’ Swahili. Or it’s Peruvian rice pudding. Take your pick. I’m Kage Alan and I’m here to depress you. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m going to depress you because there just isn’t anything in the world that can be made fun of. Nope. Not a thing. Not politics, cultures, languages, genres, or…lots of other things that end in an ‘s.’
Believe me, we’ve tried. And by we, I mean my fellow anthology authors. We reached for the stars in Butt Pirates In Space and confused everybody. Readers expected Shakespeare, or at least Arthur C. Clark. Nope. We then took another swing with Butt Ninjas From Hell! Readers wanted Eric Van Lustbader. We embraced the holidays with Butt Babes In Boyland. Readers thought we were creating a traveling Chippendales show. Personally, I think myself, T.C. Blue, and Kiernan Kelly would look fantastic in a chorus line. Then, last year, we put our cowboy hats on and delivered Butt Riders On The Range. People thought we were starting a pop-up food truck in Texas.
This drove us to have many evil thoughts. Evil, because as Dark Helmet wisely told us in Spaceballs, “Good is dumb.” Why be heroes when we can be villains? And since being a villain is also work, why not be Butt Villains On Vacation? It became so, minus Captain Picard.
For my story, I delved deep into my life and the people in it who tell me what to do whether I want them to or not. Mostly not, but they do it anyway. Can you tell I’m married to an Asian? He tells me what to do all the time. And when he isn’t around, Little Brother steps up since he’s also Asian, and tells me what to do just so it keeps me in line for my husband.
I love writing a white/Asian pairing because the white guy always assumes he’s smarter, and he frequently isn’t. They’re evenly matched this time, though. They’re super villains, they dislike each other, hook up anyway, and bump into each other several months later while on vacation. It’s probably a good thing they do since there’s a greater super villain at large, and they’re caught up in a plot they never saw coming, one in which a result of their little hookup finds them both pregnant.
Get ready for the one-liners to fly!
Oh, yeah. I lied about depressing you or not being able to make fun of anything. We make fun of EVERYTHING! So hop on over to your favorite online print or e-book dealer and join myself, Kiernan Kelly, Ally Blue, and T.C. Blue in Butt Villains On Vacation. And pray we don’t write another…
And now, a snippet from Master Malevolence in The Tail of the Fluffy Monkey
“It amazes me how paranoid your little gweilo mind can be.” Chi Kit reached up and tapped his chest. “I’m more worried about me. What about Chi Kit? Not Dylan. Tim is going to be so disappointed in me.”
“Who the hell’s Tim? I thought your boyfriend’s name was William?”
“How you know what my boyfriend’s name is William?” He propped himself up using his arm and glared at Dylan. “Oh, look who I’m asking. Stalker man. Silly question. I told you that you’re stalking me!” Turnabout was foreplay…er…fair play. “Tim is old college roommate.”
“You told your old roommate what happened between us?” The man stared at Chi Kit in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? How can that be good? What were you thinking?”
“Of course I told him. I’ve trusted him since college, which is why I roomed with him all six years for undergraduate and graduate degrees.” Gweilos were dumb. How did they ever manage to not wipe themselves out hundreds of years ago? “And I did it because I needed perspective.”
“Did you get it?” Dylan demanded to know.
“Yes,” Chi Kit answered with a hint of snide in his voice. “He said I never should have allowed you to seduce me.”
“That’s not exactly how it happened.”
“It is the way I tell it.” And that would be the way he’d tell it from now until the end of time. “And Michael said the same thing Tim did.”
“Michael? Who the fu… There’s a Michael now?” Dylan looked around the room, then back at Chi Kit. “Stop telling people! I didn’t tell anybody about you.”
“You didn’t?” He actually felt a bit offended. “I’m not worth talking about?”
“That’s not the reason. I didn’t tell anybody because I’m not insane! Oh, my God!” Dylan stood up and started putting his clothes back on. “We’re two mild-mannered master villains at the top of our game who happen to be in relationships—not great relationships, but relationships that, for people like us, are rare and provide us company, not great company, but company—and we broke the sanctity of those relationships by hooking up for some of the most incredible, mind-boggling, mind-blowing, orgasmic sex we’ve ever had. Do we, A, tell everybody we know, because that’s always a good idea, or, B, keep it to ourselves to minimize any potential fallout?”
“I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something,” Chi Kit teased, “but you’re being very subtle about it.”
Title: Butt Villains on Vacation
Author: Kage Alan, Ally Blue, T.C. Blue, Kiernan Kelly
Publisher: Wilde City Press
Release Date: May 9, 2016
Pairing: M/M
Length: Anthology
Genres/Tags: Comedy, Contemporary, Erotic, Romantic, Superhero/Villains
Book Blurb
Heroes are boring. Seriously, how much effort does it take to be good? Fortunately, we don’t know! The Butt-Thology authors are back again with their latest action-packed, suspenseful, horrifying thriller…Butt Villains On Vacation. Okay, it might be a comedy.
Find out who Designation Enforcement are pursuing at The Flaming Skull B&B, if retired villain Drunkboy can find love without accidentally killing someone, what happens when Assassin Bandit’s travel agent books him into a resort with the good guys, and why villains and arch nemeses Master Malevolence and The Fluffy Bunny have morning sickness symptoms after hooking up with each other!
Purchase Links:
Amazon
Kage Alan lives in a suburb of Detroit, MI with his husband and their fish & shrimp, who are all affectionately named and answer to “fish” or “shrimp”…except his husband. He lives in fear of his husband’s Hong Kong Grandmonster, and is the author of GLBT comedies A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, the non-comedic Falling Awake, and Butt-thology short stories Spacehunters: Master Elite and the Maternal Order of Loganites Beyond Uranus, Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns Of Fury, It’s A Wonderful Lube, and Chinchilla Chimichangas
Author Links
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kagealan
Twitter: www.twitter.com/kagealan
Website: www.KageAlan.com
