TITLE: Believing Rory
AUTHOR: S.C. Wynne
PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press
COVER ARTIST: Garrett Leigh
LENGTH: 200 Pages
RELEASE DATE: April 29, 2016
BLURB: Will Rory bring them together or stand between them?
Eighteen-year-old Lane Graham has always relied on his braver, more confident buddy, Rory. But Rory’s sudden suicide blindsides Lane and sends him into an emotional tailspin. How’s he supposed to start college in a few months feeling this damaged?
Baron MacDonald knew Rory from playing League of Legends together. He was always intrigued by Lane’s online presence, and Rory had promised to set them up. Now that Rory’s gone, Baron has to approach Lane on his own.
On the surface, Baron and Lane couldn’t seem more different. Baron is confident and serious, and Lane is guarded and uncertain. But it’s the pain beneath the flesh that binds these two souls together like barbed wire and cement.
My car windows are rolled down, and I’m laugh-crying hysterically as I race down the highway. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” I grip the steering wheel in a death grip. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” I’m having trouble seeing because my eyes are blurred with tears. The idea of crashing off the road doesn’t bother me like it should.
My phone has been ringing nonstop ever since I tore out of Baron’s driveway. I haven’t bothered to see who’s calling. With my luck it’s Judy wanting to know how dinner went. That thought brings forth another jag of crazy laughter. The wind whipping against my wet cheeks feels good. I’m not sure where I’m heading, but I don’t really care at the moment. I just need to get away from Baron and his parents.
The tires squeal as the highway curves abruptly. I manage to control the car around the bend and I accelerate. It’s an unfortunate thing that no matter how fast I go, I’m still not able to outrun my painful thoughts. My usual MO is numb. But tonight was weird in that I felt so angry. I was like a manhole with the sewage backed up and spilling out into the street. I couldn’t stop it. So much shit just needing to be released.
My phone continues to ring. If it’s Baron, I wouldn’t know what to say, so there’s no point in answering. I mean for God’s sake, I threatened to beat up his dad. What the fuck? I groan and swallow down the bile that wants to rise. I’d still like to punch his dad for what he said. To blame Baron for what happened to him as a teenager was unforgivable. At least I’ll never forgive him, that’s for damn sure.
Red lights appear behind me.
Holy fuck. Could this night get any worse? I slow down, instinctively knowing full well it’s way too late. I can hear the cop talking over a loudspeaker. I can’t understand him, but my educated guess is he wants me to pull over. My thoughts drift back to the scene at dinner. How did it spiral so out of control? I try to remember what exactly everyone said as I drive along with the cop flashing his spotlight on me.
I’m in so much trouble now. Baron hates me and I’m probably going to be hauled to jail for evading arrest. There are a lot of big oak trees along this patch of roadway. It would be so easy to just turn the wheel and slam into one. Maybe I’d get lucky and not wake up this time. I wince when Kit’s face comes to mind. My stomach sinks at the thought of hurting him again. He’s just beginning to trust me. And my mom. God, she would blame herself and think she’d missed the signs. I can’t even leave a note, since I’m driving. I wouldn’t be able to explain there were no signs this time. I didn’t even know what a fucking mess I was until that hatred exploded out of me at Baron’s father.
Where exactly do I think I’m going? I remember I took a Criminal Justice class last semester, and the retired cop who taught it said, “You can outrun the cops but you can’t outrun the radio.” I know that’s true. I’m sure my little buddy behind me with the flashing lights has already alerted other cops to the menace that is me.
I guess I have a choice: either drive into a tree or pull over and take my lumps like a man. What was that Baron’s father said? A man should face his problems? God. I certainly don’t feel like a man right now. I feel more like a sniveling, angry toddler being chased by the cops in his peddle car.
I think I have to pull over whether I like it or not. Something has changed inside of me from the first time I tried to die. As much as I’d love to escape my problems by ending it all, I know I’d hurt too many people if I kill myself. I can’t just ignore that fact like I did the first time. Ever since Rory died, I’ve been forced to look at the aftermath of suicide. I didn’t think about anyone I was leaving behind last time. I only saw my own pain and I wanted out.
I wonder what my last therapist would have to say to me if she could see me now; driving down the freeway with a cop yammering at me to pull over. I still can’t believe this is happening. I’m usually the most passive person you’ll ever meet. No one is going to believe I got arrested. I can’t comprehend it myself. I can’t even get up in front of large groups of people but I’m going to get thrown in jail? This is crazy. I think I might be nuts. I might have finally snapped. The blip of the police car behind me reminds me I still have him to deal with.
I tap the brakes and put on my hazards to let the cop know I’m slowing down. I’m literally shaking with embarrassment. When I finally stop, should I keep my hands on the steering wheel? What if I make a quick move and he shoots me? I laugh maniacally, which is not a good sign if you ask me. I definitely still feel very out of it. Everything is surreal.
Would any of this have happened if Rory were alive? There’s no way I would ever have been arrested if Rory was still here. Of course, knowing Rory, he would have actually punched Baron’s dad, and not just yelled at him. Maybe Rory would have ended up arrested. But not me. I’d have probably stood by passively and let Rory handle everything. Some more hot tears spill down my cheeks as I pull over to the side of the road and stop the car.
A childish part of me feels like this is all Rory’s fault.
The officer approaches warily on the driver side. “Please keep your hands where I can see them.” His voice is brusque, and he says something quickly into the little radio attached to his shoulder.
“Okay.” My heart is thumping so loud I wonder if he can hear it.
“Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
“Not really.” I have a feeling he knows.
He’s at my window now and he’s shining his flashlight in my eyes. “Have you been drinking?”
Shaking my head, I say, “No.” I’m aware that my face is probably puffy and damp from crying like an idiot earlier.
“Do you have any weapons or contraband you’d like to tell me about?”
“No.”
“Why were you driving so fast?”
I grimace. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I was upset.”
“Could I please see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?” He lowers his light and I can finally see him. He’s older than he sounds. He has a thick, bushy mustache and matching eyebrows. “Why didn’t you pull over sooner?”
Because I’m having a nervous breakdown and I didn’t feel like it. Obviously I don’t say that out loud. “Oh, well I was trying to find a suitable pull-off area.” There were about a million of them, and my guess is he knows that just like I do.
S.C. Wynne started writing m/m in 2013 and did look back once. She wanted to say that because it seems everyone’s bio says they never looked back and, well S.C. Wynne is all about the joke. She loves writing m/m and her characters are usually a little jaded, funny and ultimately redeemed through love.
S.C loves red wine, margaritas and Seven and Seven’s. Yes, apparently S.C. Wynne is incredibly thirsty. S.C. Wynne loves the rain and should really live in Seattle but instead has landed in sunny, sunny, unbelievably sunny California. Writing is the best profession she could have chosen because S.C. is a little bit of a control freak. To sit in her pajamas all day and pound the keys of her laptop controlling the every thought and emotion of the characters she invents is a dream come true.
If you’d like to contact S.C. Wynne she is amusing herself on Facebook at all hours of the day or you can contact her at scwynne@dslextreme.com
|| Facebook || Twitter || Blog || Website ||
Winner’s Prize: $10 Amazon GC & an e-copy of a book from the author’s backlist!
April 29: BFD Book Blog :: Diverse Reader
May 2: Bike Book Reviews :: The Novel Approach
May 3: Nautical Star Books
May 4: Wicked Faeries Tales & Reviews :: Love Bytes Reviews :: LeAnn’s Book Reviews
May 5: Cia’s Stories :: Drops of Ink
May 6: Bayou Book Junkie :: Alpha Book Club
Sounds like a great intense and emotional read.
really loved this story ..congrats SC
Congrats on your new book. It looks (cover) great and sounds interesting. I love gay romance and YA, and the attraction of two guys who are so different.
Definitely adding to my TBR!