So, this is a departure from my normal, and it’s because of a coincidence of clashing news in my life, but I hope it resonates with others in some way.  It’s about the “hero” mindset, and actually being a hero.

I’ve a very very dear person in my life who has been dealing with thoughts of suicide because of her self identity, turmoil over her sexuality, and bullying in her life.  This is a story that is hardly news, it happens ALL the time.

… In the same afternoon, I’ve just finished reading another passionate plea for our schools to be safer by the arming of our teachers against the threat of gun violence in schools.  Gun violence being ANOTHER all too common thing.

Now, I was raised in rural Maine, and I live now in Rural NY.  I raise my own sheep, and I hunt and fish when time allows (meat only, I disdain sport hunting)… I’m not going to get into any argument here about meat and hunting ethics, but suffice to say: I know firearms and firearm owners.  I’ve been horrified to watch my country go through this orgasm of violence in increasing numbers over these past decades, with shootings in theaters and schools, churches, and streets.  I’ve watched the arguments back and forth and the fervor with which people, including personal friends, cling to a fascinating notion of everyone carrying guns to fight the bad guys.

I realized something:

They want to be a hero.  The wrong kind of hero.

I understand where people are coming from.  There is a movie scene playing out in their heads – the quiet bar, a quiet drink.  The door bursts open and a MADMAN charges in with a gun.  The hero sets down his or her jack and coke, draws Ol Blue from a holster, delivers a suave one-liner and either brings the situation well in hand, or drops that mad dog in his tracks.  Accolades follow, but “nosir, they were just doin their duty.”  Walk away quietly, ever the hero.

I have to give these folks that standing up like that, facing a gun, would take guts.  No doubt about it.

Of course, this is a fantasy that is self-defeating.  Even if we accept the notion that violence is the best solution to violence (a proposition I’m not willing to simply accept, but let’s go with brevity) … the probability of any single person being in the right place at the right time, with the right weapon, the right training, and the presence of mind to deal violence without harming innocents?  Is laughable.

But you know what ISN’T laughable?

The idea that that same person might tomorrow, or next week, or THIS AFTERNOON online, be in the right place, at the right time, with the right words, to stop a bullying, a hate comment, a misogynist rant, a racist joke.  To be a hero.  To have the guts.

We need more people to want desperately to be the right KIND of hero.  Not with a gun, but with their words, their actions, their presence.  We have all had moments where we didn’t say something.  When we ignored it.  I have, I’m ashamed to say, blinked and made a justification for not saying something… for accepting it.  Out of fear, out of some antiquated artificial “respect” for someone’s position.

I don’t want to do that, ever again.  I want to be a hero.  The right kind of hero.

For my dear dear wonderful friend, for my family, for my colleagues, and for people I’ve never even met.  I’m going to fail from time to time, and that doesn’t make me a villain… but I plan to go armed with my words from this day forward… ready to face down that very frightening gun of hate.  I hope my friend who carries his gun everywhere tries out my plan too, and maybe he can be the hero he wants to be.  Maybe it will help make the world a place where he feels the need to carry his gun less.