As authors, we tend to wrap all of our energy into writing books, doing promotion, tracking sales, putting together book tours, watching Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Whatever, etc.. It’s a full-time job, and then some. Most of us already have a full-time job that we need to keep up with in order to pay the rent, so we have two full-time jobs. We stretch ourselves too thin, like an overinflated balloon—one more drama, and we’re going to pop.

It’s just too much.

For the last year, I’ve taken a step back and focused on figuring out how to keep myself sane. I didn’t write. I didn’t pay attention to the drama. I didn’t promo. Nothing. I simply took a deep breath and centered myself.

During that time, I took a hard look at what was important and what I found surprised me.

I love writing, I do. I love putting together a world. I love building characters out of thin air. I love making people smile through their tears. More than that though, I love sitting in the living room at my parents’ house coloring with my nieces. The book can wait for a night.

I love talking to people on Facebook—bantering with Kage Alan, flinging hashtags back and forth with Jambrea Jo Jones, teasing my roommate Shae Connor, all of it. Then, the drama starts. Someone is always unhappy about something. I don’t want to play. I’m done getting upset over some virtual problem. Instead, I walk away.

I love hanging out with my friends—game night playing Mario Kart, Taco Tuesdays, hanging out at the bar. Then, I notice that I’m standing in the corner alone. I’m not one of the popular kids, not even close—and it’s hard to be on the outside looking in. Most of the time, I feel invisible—that’s where Anthony came from. All of that plays havoc on my emotional stability. The depression is intensified by isolation and loneliness, and sometimes it gets to be too much. So, I’ve learned to avoid situations where I feel unwanted. I walk away. It helps.

Authors feel like we have to do it all, and we have to execute each task flawlessly so we can reach some arbitrary sales number, or Twitter follower number and we can feel better about ourselves. When we’re popular and people like us, it’s the best feeling in the world, right? It isn’t, actually. For me, the best feeling in the world is my six-year-old niece looking up at me like I’m the best present ever when I make it home for Christmas. The best feeling is spending a weekend on Kage Alan’s couch kicked back watching movies with one of my best friends. The best feeling is having more good days than bad because I don’t let things get to me.

When my book hits the best seller’s list? That is a great feeling, but it’s not the end-all-be-all feeling. When I’m mentioned or reviewed or interviewed on USA Today – that’s a great feeling, but it’s not anything I can’t walk away from. When someone tells me that reading Aaron helped them to overcome their own trauma – that is a wonderful feeling.

Reflecting back on 2015, I’ve found that perspective is a powerful thing. Stepping back from JP for a year really taught me a lot about myself, and a lot about her. It made us both happier and it made us both stronger. We’re ready to tackle 2016 with grace and style. I’ve made a few resolutions like publication on a regular schedule, branching out and stretching to new subgenres, not taking so much to heart, and adopting healthier habits. But there are also more specific ones like finishing out the Aaron series with the fifth and final book (I submitted the fourth one just a few days ago), blogging weekly, and stabilizing our promotional processes.

So, I wanted to say – thank you for sticking it out with me – JP’s 2016 is going to be a great ride.

XOXOXO,

JP Barnaby