A couple of days ago a friend of mine was having a crisis. I can’t really call it an existential crisis, I’d refer to it more as a crisis of faith with respect to their decision to pursue a career writing in the niche genre romance field. This avenue, they told me, wasn’t proving to be as successful as they’d hoped. To which I had to reply, “Well, what the hell defines success?”
This is an important concept to consider, not only when we start tapping out words on a keyboard, but whenever we make a decision in life to pursue something: a career, a relationship, a hobby. What exactly is going to define our success in the venture?
We’ve all dreamed of financial success from our writing; of that I have no doubt. At the same time we’ve looked at the size of the LGBTQI market, drilled that market down to those who are interested in romance, and realized that millionaire status is most likely out of our reach. Stupid, we are not, and most of us don’t have a rich, single, childless uncle that is dying (literally) to leave us his entire estate as thanks for filling the last few years of his life with gay happily-ever-afters. Does that mean, then, that suggesting you can be successful in this genre is akin to picking up rocks and calling them diamonds?
Not in my opinion.
Let’s look into this definition a little bit deeper…
Oxford (bless his specific little heart) tells us that success is:
1 [mass noun] The accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the president had some success in restoring confidence
1.1 The attainment of fame, wealth, or social status; the success of his play
1.2 [count noun] A person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains fame, wealth, etc.; to judge from league tables, the school is a success
See there? That one right on the top of the heap o’ definitions? It’s accomplishment. That’s what success will always be about to me – setting a goal, figuring out paths towards that goal, working my ass off to reach that goal, and then being able to look back on the journey knowing that it was a whole lot of patience, effort, hard work, and determination that got me there. Success is holding a copy of your novel in your hand, or seeing its cover on Amazon, (no plug to the great and mighty corporation, mind you; that is merely an example) not counting the revenue that it’s bringing.
I got more of a rush from that first teeny tiny not-quite-two-hundred-bucks royalty statement than I’ve ever experienced from an annual bonus at the day job. I’ve received just as much personal fulfillment from a reviewer’s kind words as I have from the “good job, couldn’t have done it without you” kudos I get in ‘real’ life. Because either way—big or small, hidden away from the masses or out in the open for everyone to see—I can still see the accomplishment. The pinnacle of success, if you will. Fame, wealth, social status, these are all tier two.
I’ll admit it… I’ve done it myself — I’ve looked at the lazy snake of my Amazon ratings and let it ruin my day. I’ve opened a poorer than usual royalty statement and found myself compelled to reply back to my publisher with grumbles and moans. It’s only because I’ve forgotten what’s really important with what we’re doing in this genre: we’re ensuring that all kinds of love are being presented in media and because of that we’re providing a small but necessary representation in a field that has been and is still ruled by straight characters. I’m hardly the first person to point out that representation is one of the cornerstones to acceptance, and isn’t it about time? We’re providing HEA for everyone—for you, for me, for those readers that might have come to the conclusion that this kind of ending isn’t available to them because they’re not the straight majority. We’re making sure that all love matters.
Those are some damn good reasons to do something.
Don’t count your successes in dollars and cents. Don’t judge your worth on whether or not you can tell your work associates about it.
Sometimes success really is just getting a fistful of sand and being able to hold that fist in the air while thinking, “I did it!” – – – – – >
And sometimes it’s just about knowing that you’re trying to make a difference.
I heard an amazing line on Sense 8 and it struck me so hard that I had to write it out and post it on the wall of my office.
“At a certain point I realized there’s a huge difference between what we work for and what we live for.” – Nomi to Lito in Death Doesn’t Let You Say Goodbye
We work for financial stability and financial success; we live to write. Doing something that defines what you live for, regardless of whether it gets published, ends up on a best-sellers list, or makes you hundreds of thousands of dollars, is an accomplishment. That makes it a success.
Doing it makes you successful.
Until next time,
AF Henley <3
Henley was born with a full-blown passion for run-on sentences, a zealous indulgence in all words descriptive, and the endearing tendency to overuse punctuation. Since the early years Henley has been an enthusiastic writer, from the first few I-love-my-dog stories to the current leap into erotica. A self-professed Google genius, Henley lives for the hours spent digging through the Internet for ‘research purposes’ which, more often than not, lead seven thousand miles away from first intentions but bring Henley to new discoveries and ideas that, once seeded, tend to flourish.
Henley has been proudly publishing with Less Than Three Press since 2012, and has been writing like mad ever since—an indentured servant to the belief that romance and true love can mend the most broken soul. Even when presented in prose.
Henley’s newest release, Baby’s on Fire hit the market on May 6th and is now available at your favourite online book retailer. Check it out on Amazon, or directly through LT3 Press: ebook, print.
For more information please stop by for a visit at afhenley.com.
I had been a little worried that I wasn’t going to be around to meet this post head-on. Thankfully, things came up, and I’m stuck where there is a connection to the world wide web. Whee~~! 🙂
Thank you very much for reminding us of this. It’s simplicity is reassuring, and it reminds me of something Someone-Very-Wise keeps telling me: “Keep Writing.”
I suppose now we can add on to that “Keep Writing” mantra: “Success is when you finish it.” =)
<3
Thank you very much! But I have to say, your patience at living without Internet connection is stunning. I panic if I lose it for mere moments. I’m not even kidding… when I take holidays my first question to anyone arriving before I do is, “But does the WiFi work?!”
Glad you enjoyed the post and what the heck, while I’m at it… Keep Writing! XD
I’ll probably never get rich writing in our genre, but with my first book sale to Dreamspinner Press I walked on air for days. Twenty books later, I still walk on air with every sale. I would consider myself a success even if I didn’t earn a penny. Like you said, seeing your covers on Amazon, reading reviews of your writing, knowing some people enjoy what you’ve written, it all makes for the greatest sense of accomplishment I’ve ever known, and I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that way. I couldn’t ask for anything more than what I have now — the ability to do what I love, and the humbling knowledge that there are people out there who love it too. Thanks for reminding me of all that.
Thank YOU very much for such an inspiring and upbeat comment! I’m honoured that you read the post and thrilled that you enjoyed it. Congratulations on your success! 😀
You know it’s a hard thing being a contrary and argumentative person. Even when someone writes something you agree whole heartedly with, you find yourself testing their conclusions and trying to come up with odd little arguments against what is said.
I always have to banish such thoughts before I write a reply, and sometimes I fail completely to do so resulting in a level of jackassery that I am often surprised and horrified at when I later come back to look at it.
But not this. This I agreed with from start to finish. Thank you for the excellent thoughts.
You know, it’s my personal belief that those who openly admit to having a certain level of “jackassery” aren’t usually jackasses at all. Most jackasses don’t know that they are. I look forward to reading opinions that are open and constructive. 😀
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment. <3
It is an unfortunate thing of our times that we are bonding the term success with earning huge amount of money with material gain and becoming rich. It is like an instinct, a reflex.
This can most of the times only end in frustration and disappointment because we define success in such a wrong way. We see those who achieved so much. Be it becoming the boss of a company, or making insane amounts of money by selling a business idea.
What we forget in our frustration is to think clearly. Many of those ”up there” were just fortunate because they were born and grew up in families already rich or having contacts to high places. They had what we call ”a good start”. But that is not success. As I said: that is just being fortunate.
You said it so well, buddy. We should re-define success as an achievement when we get better at something than we were before. If we manage to accomplish a difficult task that we were afraid of before or if we do something that make us a better being than we have been before. It is success if we learn and use our gained knowledge to do something better the next time. If we overcome something dreadful and master it.
I believe that artists in special are called for to fight this battle each day. No matter if we are authors, sculptors, actors, or painters. We can not grow if we do not face challenges. Sometimes that is a very hard thing to do. But the rewards can be great. Maybe success can also be defined as personal satisfaction.
Sometimes success demands facing reality. Like being an author in the LGBTQI market. Yes, it is a small market and becoming rich writing within it is not very likely. This ”market” is an exclusive group of people that is reading LGBTQI novels and lots of other stuff like crime novels. Not everyone does but some. But outside this group there are perhaps millions more who read crime stories but no LGBTQI stuff. One has to accept that fact that there can only so many LGBTQI books be sold. That acceptance can be a success in itself. It can (hopefully) lead to the insight that low selling figures are not a sign of being a bad author or missing something that other authors have mastered. That again can lead to be more relaxed and having more fun and feeling the ability to write this genre, being an author and being published is a huge success already and a big reward.
Thank you for this awesome and very uplifting post!
<3
Thank you for such a thorough and well-thought out comment, my friend. <3