Thank you Love Bytes for allowing us to stop by. We’ve been asked: Why are we doing a Transgender* Romance Writers Blog tour? (Due to another horrifying story I’m going to give you the harsh reality)
Trans* people are dying. They are being killed and they are taking their own lives.
The trend is on the rise. On February 16th, 2015 a father in Ohio stabbed his trans-child to death. He said his child was in a cult.
There’s no group with a higher suicide rate than the trans* community: 31%. (If you’re in crisis please get help: http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_suicide.htm We need you here.) That’s a scary number (and it’s probably low).
Misunderstanding and lack of information about trans* people may be at the root of these problems. This can lead to violence and loss of life. It needs to be stopped.
Will this blog hop do that? No of course not but we are counting on our readers to learn and understand more about individuals who are transgender* so you can fight against negativity and learn to support people who are transgender*. Pretty ones I know you already fight for equality and teach acceptance to your kids. (I know because if you’re reading this blog post you care).
I/We want you to ensure you have the knowledge and the desire to stop transphobia whenever you can. Together we can change hearts and open minds.
We want to encourage your participation in this hop so please comment or ask us questions for a chance to win:
1 of 2 $20 Amazon gift cards
1 of 1 $20 online retailers B&N, ARE, or Amazon
1 of 1 $15 gift card
1 e-book copy of Groom of Convenience
1 e-book copy of Illusions & Dreams
1 e-book copy of Transgression
The winners will be picked after our last stop March 5th. We will notify you by e-mail.
Our question today is: Was the sex scene more difficult to write in a transgender* story versus gay romance?
Allora: Yes. I didn’t want to sugar coat the risks of affirmation surgery nor ignore the glorious results of success while being careful not to sexualize my character (when trust me all Boon-nam wanted to do was to prove to her bad boy Jake she was kinky enough for him). I also wanted to make sure her best friend Lalana who like the many trans* women chose not to have surgery was presented in a way that made it clear not having surgery didn’t make her any less of a woman.
Theo Fenraven: I chose not to dwell on the sex scenes. I gave enough information so the reader knew what was happening, but I offered no blow by blow account. I admit most sex scenes bore me these days, whether reading or writing them. We’re adults. We know what happens. Imagination is the sexiest thing there is. 🙂
Ethan Stone: It was different because there wasn’t two cocks. Though figuring things out was pretty hot.
Kimberly Gardner: Not really. I believe that what’s going on in a character’s head and heart is far more important than what’s going on in their underwear. So as long as the actions and emotions are real and true, then the mechanics are just a matter of what goes where.
Corvus Alyse: To be honest, I wasn’t originally going to write a sex scene. It wasn’t planned, at least more than the minimum required. Sex scenes aren’t really my thing to write. But while I was typing, something took over my fingers and typed out some fairly intense scenes. There’s one in the WIP. I’m open to constructive criticisms!!
Vicktor Alexander: Hell no. I think you just have to keep in mind that this character you’re writing is mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even in their soul what they’re supposed to be, there’s just this one part of their body that’s “incomplete”. So you write it as they would think of it. They would be there, present, but wouldn’t think of it in the same way you would. So you would think a man and a MtF (Male to Female) trans* character having sex is gay sex, but to that MtF they are have het sex. A FtM trans* character usually has sex with a strapon, but not always, and not all of them like to have sex vaginally when they don’t. You have to be true to the character. But the biggest thing is, when you’re writing a trans* romance, you have to stop thinking of it as a trans* romance and just think of it as a romance because if you go into it with the mindset that you’re going to write a “trans*” romance then you’re already starting off wrong. You’re going into it writing a “romance” between two people, with emotions, problems, one of which just happens to be transgender.
Sara York: Yes and no. We built in some awkwardness in the sex scene, but as far as writing it, I didn’t think it was too difficult.
His Fair Lady Blurb:
Mark Talleo is something of a dog with the ladies. Any girl, anytime, anywhere is his motto until he meets Josie Frazier. The long lean redhead not only shares his love of musical theatre, but her smoky sexy voice and infectious laugh drive Mark wild and haunt his every step. Equally fascinating is his
sense that she has a secret, one he is determined to uncover on his way to becoming her leading man.
Josie does have a secret, one she guards with her whole self. Although she has always known she was female, her name used to be Joey and she’s still biologically
male. As much as she yearns for love and acceptance, her fear of rejection is just as strong.
Mark’s need to know the truth is matched only by Josie’s need to hide it. But when malicious gossip reveals her deepest secret the price of honesty may turn out to be too high to pay. But if each can accept that the woman he wants is the woman she is then at last he may find His Fair Lady.
His Fair Lady Excerpt:
Josie stopped in the ladies’ room at the end of the hall. She needed to pee and text Kyle not to bother picking her up since she wanted to hit the bookstore and the library before going home. After finishing her business, she set her bag on the counter and washed her hands.
Josie opened her bag and reached inside for her phone. But it wasn’t in the pocket where she always kept it. She rummaged around in the main compartment but came up empty.
She huffed out an annoyed breath and upended her bag on the counter. Lip gloss, mascara, a yellow highlighter, three pens, a comb, a rubber band, a pack of tissues, her wallet, two dollar bills and thirteen cents—but no phone.
Where the hell was it?
Josie squashed the panic that wanted to rise up and grab hold. She just had it five freaking minutes ago. Therefore she must have dropped it on her rush to escape from her classroom suitor. So she would just go back and find it. No big deal.
And what if he was still there?
Well, if he was, she would see him again. After all, they were in class together, so she would see him again eventually.
For the briefest moment, she allowed herself to imagine accepting his invitation for coffee. They would sit across from each other at one of those little tables out front of the Book and Bean. He would flirt, and maybe she would even flirt a little in return. Maybe they would share one of those big chocolate chip cookies.
But no, that was never going to happen. Not for her, not with him.
But he did have a great smile and really pretty eyes.
A sigh slipped out before she could prevent it.
Okay, just quit it right now. She needed to quit mooning over some guy she could never have.
And she was mooning. She could admit it to the girl in the mirror, that girl she’d become over years of tears and effort. A girl that cutie wouldn’t want, not if he really knew her.
Tossing everything back in her bag, Josie pushed open the restroom door, and who should she find standing in the hall but the very guy she’d just been mooning over.
“Hey,” he greeted her with a wide smile. No question about it, he had to have had braces in high school. No one’s teeth were naturally that perfect.
Josie pushed the odd thought aside, packing it away with the thrill of finding him waiting for her, a thrill she refused to countenance.
“Hey.” She tried to stroll casually by him, but he reached out a hand and stopped her. In that hand he held something that looked unsettlingly familiar.
“You dropped your phone.” When she didn’t immediately reach for it, he held it out farther into her personal space. “This is your phone, right?”
She nodded and took her phone. Their fingers brushed, and Josie felt a tingle all the way down to her coral-tipped toenails.
Holy crap, but she was doomed.
Now available from Loose-ID
http://www.loose-id.com/his-fair-lady.html
Readers can contact me via email at: kimberly@kimberlygardner.com
I love Vicktor’s comment that you’re not writing trans* romance, you’re writing romance. <3 <3 <3
Absolutely true!!! Hugs, Z.
Great post. I like Victor’s statement, “…you have to stop thinking of it as a trans* romance and just think of it as a romance…”.
So sorry for the misspelling, Vicktor.
Very interesting post. I didn’t know things were ‘that’ bad for trans people. 🙁 But I hope one day everyone can understand each other better. And I liked reading the different comments about writing sex scenes in trans stories. 🙂
Serena: My friends in the trans* community are scared… they can be targeted and bullied just by being who they are…
The best thing each of us is understand, accept and where ever possible help others to do so as well.
Hugs, Z.
The post was very interesting and quite sad about how bad things are for trans* people we are all human and I can’t never understand why we can’t all get along and be kind to each other.
I had a different more fun blog written… but my computer ate it and then I saw the news story about the father killing his own child because of it… and I couldn’t re-write a happy post. There’s a reality that can be devastating but we can each help change it.
Hugs, Z.
I did not realize that the suicide rate was so high. That is sad and disturbing, but thanks for educating me. And Vicktor, thanks for this: “You’re going into it writing a “romance” between two people, with emotions, problems, one of which just happens to be transgender.”
Jen: Have you read Vicktor’s book… OMG lovely and really drives home how little gender really matters.
Hugs, Z.
This blog tour is really needed, and should be part of many such informative and enjoyable events about trans* people and romances. Vicktor hit the nail on the head.
Erotica is for the body…Romance is for the soul.
Thank you for commenting!!!
Hugs, Z.
It’s been such an informative and important tour…I hope the genre gets wider exposure!
Thank you for another interesting post. I completely agree with Vicktor’s comment – it’s about a romance between two people.
Absolutely Antonia!!!
Hugs, Z.
I have several trans friends. I worry for them constantly. I also have a 16 year old, that I’m striving to teach, it’s what’s in the heart, not what’s in the pants, that matters.
Thank God for parents like you!!! Well done!!! I really believe it’s the mommies and daddies that can change the world… the hand that rocks the cradle and all that matters…
Hugs, Z.
. Like everyone else I had no idea the suicide rate was so high. I totally agree with VIcktor, it’s romance between 2 people.
Some encouraging news, at least to me. I teach CNA classes at the community colleges. The text books now have added a section about LGBT rights. It states that medical professionals are not to judge and that everyone deserves to have professional, caring service.
Thank you for hosting us.
Thanks for the info and the tour. Great to get this out in the public eye.
I really enjoyed this blog hop and THANK YOU ALL, so much for giving us your views.
I knew that there was a higher rate of suicide, I just didn’t realize it was so high.
I agree with Victor…it’s just a romance between two people.
Thanks Again and Keep Spreading The Knowledge & The Love!!!
It totally baffles me every time I read about parents kicking out or driving their kids to suicide and even killing them over LGBTQ matters. WTF is wrong with people?
Thanks for doing this blog hop and spreading more awareness.
This has been such an educational tour! I’m still stunned that gender is so binary for so many people…I thought the 21st century would be different!
Sadly, I live in the town where that murder took place. They say now they were arguing over money. Even sadder. Speculation is the “cult” the father referred to was actually the local Trans support group.
I love the answers that the various writers put for the questions at each stop. I think it provides a lot of insight. The post was very good and I didn’t realize how high the suicide rate was. That’s just not right. Things need to change. Thank you for the blog hop and for spreading awareness and information.
Do you think the new stories about Bruce Jenner are helping in awareness?
I think the fact that it’s all a big joke to people aren’t necessarily helping, no. I also think the fact that people are still saying “He” “wants” or “is choosing” to live “his” life as a woman isn’t helping either. But it is getting people to talk at least.
Thank you guys so much for participating. Please please make sure you do what you can to stop transphobia when you encounter it…
Hugs, Z.
I’m so glad so many of you liked my response. LOL. Thank you. And thank you Love Bytes Reviews for hosting us. Thank you everyone for responding. Yes, the numbers are discouraging, but they were much higher years ago. And unfortunately, what those statistics don’t tell you is that violence is much higher for transgender women, and even higher among transgender women of color. They are also the ones who tend to commit suicide more often. It is unfortunate. Hopefully if we raise awareness, show that there is acceptance, there is support, and love, these numbers will dwindle down to being almost non-existent.
We can only hope. If you all read the books and spread the word. Get involved in some way, even if it’s just befriending a Trans person or teen or encouraging them, supporting them, etc. we can slowly change the world for the better.
And with that, I’m done. LOL.
Thank you Vic I was happy to participate in this tour!
nice blurb and excerpt
bn100candg at hotmail dot com
Great answers to the question. Thank you for the tour and for trying to spread awareness.
Oh, this is brilliant. I’m so tired of sex scenes and Tab-A into Slot-B.
I want to read ROMANCE. SENSATION. I don’t need the bits to do that, I need the electricity, the fascination, the LOVE.
yay for love in all its forms
What an excellent topic for this blog. I’m sorry to say that a lot of times I forget about Transgenders due to the fact that I never seem to see anything about them. It’s very sad to see that again that people have no comparison for anyone that are not like them. Thank you for bringing their struggle to my attention.
I love what Vicktor said, stop thinking of it as a trans romance and just think of it as a romance. This is exactly it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, authors.
Congrats to Denise who posted here on Love Bytes and won the 15 dollar GC ! and congrats to Anna Lund who won one of the ecopies!