Letter to Santa from the THIRDS’ Dexter J. Daley

We’ve always been tight, you and I. When I was a kid, you’d bring me and my baby brother awesome presents, but never too many so we could learn to appreciate the value of a gift. I gotta say though, Santa, you really shouldn’t take gift wrapping lessons from Dad. Seriously, man. My dad’s got beef with Scotch tape. It’s like watching one of those bad infomercials. Then there was that one year he boycotted tape and I guess you followed his lead because all the presents you delivered were wrapped in twine. Like, enough twine to weave a few dozen baskets.

Where was I? Right, you’d bring us awesome toys, and in return we’d leave you milk and cookies. Cookies that my little brother and I baked with our own chubby little fingers, and of course some help from Dad. I apologize for the lumps you might have found, or any half eaten chocolate chips. Baking cookies always makes me hungry, and really, someone needs to check for quality control. This year, I’ve been a good boy, going by today’s standard. Now, before I move onto my list, I’d just like to clarify something. When you’re talking about folks making it onto the Naughty List, you mean jerks, right? Not the fun grown-up kind of naughty. You know what I mean. Like the good kind of naughty that makes your toes curl. Because if not, I’m kinda screwed. Pun not intended. Maybe. I’ll move on. Here’s what I’d like for Christmas.

1. Sloane wrapped in black leather. He put all these ideas in my head, and now they’re stuck there. If I get nothing else for Christmas, please, please, please. I am a reasonable man, so if leather is not an option, I’ll take him naked and wrapped in a big red bow.

2. For my brother, could you bring him whatever his heart desires most? Even if you have to club it over the head. I think we both know what it is, and chances are he won’t go willingly. You might need some elves to help you out on this one. A lot of elves. I won’t lie to you, he’s probably on the naughty list, and not the good kind of naughty. I really shouldn’t have said that. I did not need that kind of visual, especially when it concerns my little brother. Okay, this just got fifty shades of awkward. Oh God, it’s getting worse! Look, just bring Cael whatever makes him happy, and this conversation never happened. I expect you to burn this letter in your fireplace after reading it. Much like I wish I could burn the images of a naughty Ash from my brain.

3. Bring my dad someone special. Girl, guy, Human, Therian, you know Dad won’t care. I think he needs to think about himself for a while. It’s always work, work, work, or fussing over me and my brother. He needs to have some fun. Go on a date or something. Preferably no one from the THIRDS, cause that would be… uncomfortable.

4. Please for love of Rudolph, help Calvin and Hobbs get their shit together. The eye-smexing, the wistful glances, the sighing…. It’s driving me freakin’ nuts! I know Hobbs is the culprit, so, I don’t know. Call in a favor with cupid or something. Tell him to get his winged ass down here and work his magic, because if I have sit through another session of pouting from Calvin, I’m going to do some of my own shooting, and it won’t be with any love arrows.

5. Letty and Rosa. These two are awesome and they’ve put up with all our boy-drama. My wish for Letty might be the same as her wish. Dimples the Firefighter not passing out at the word “commitment”. For Rosa, I have a feeling she’s hoping a certain someone might become the next Mrs. Santiago. If so, that’s my wish for her.

6. I know this next one is going to be tough, but can you help Ash get his head out of where the sun don’t shine and stop hurting my baby brother? I know he’s crazy about Cael, so I need you to knock some sense into him. You have my permission to use any means necessary. Have a blast. Oh, and a shiny new wrench. To dislodge that stick he has  stuck up his lion Therian butt.

7. And finally, for the guy who jingles my bells, I’d like for you to help me stay on the right track making Sloane happy because he deserves it. He’s perfect just the way he is, so we’re good there.

P.S.

The cookies are a lot better this year. I promise not to eat them. I might have one—two—but that’s it. Maybe. I’m just going to leave you a gift certificate or something, because let’s get real here. If it’s got sugar, I’m gonna eat it.

About the Author

Charlie Cochet is an author by day and artist by night. Always quick to succumb to the whispers of her wayward muse, no star is out of reach when following her passion. From Historical to Fantasy, Contemporary to Science Fiction, there’s bound to be plenty of mischief for her heroes to find themselves in, and plenty of romance, too!

Currently residing in South Florida, Charlie looks forward to migrating to a land where the weather includes seasons other than hot, hotter, and boy, it’s hot! When she isn’t writing, she can usually be found reading, drawing, or watching movies. She runs on coffee, thrives on music, and loves to hear from readers.

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