You know, a good book is a good book.

I don’t care what genre you write in. And a good book, takes research. In our genre, m/m, there are good books and there are bad ones.

And it usually hinges on one thing. Just one word. Research. And damnit if we’re not back on the male vs female writer bullshit again.

Here’s what’s up:

The post on Love Bytes Reviews website, was condescending as hell. Not only to women, not only to writers, but to gay men and men in general. Why? Because of Reductio ad Absurdum. The writer took romance and shot it right between the eyes and reduced our work, our humanity, to the most basic form possible. Fucking.

It wasn’t tongue in cheek. It wasn’t smart alec-y. It was downright trite, and while the author had some good points it was like pointing a firehose at a passerby to see whether or not the information threw them to the ground.

We are all adults. We know how chemistry and sex work. And while we are all adults, we are also all…human.  And its right there in that humanity where we come together.

Admittedly there are  books in the m/m genre where I stop and say, “Do you even know a gay man?” And you know what? I have to ask that question of both men and women.

But on the flip side, I have read some outstanding, stand up and cheer, LITERATURE out of our genre by both sexes.

This is my favorite part:

There are many gay men who will say, “Oh, I’m not like that. I’m in touch with my feminine side.” Yeah, whatever. Deep down, they are pigs too. I have a saying: “Feed ‘em, fuck ‘em and put ‘em to bed.” If you manage to keep them there till morning, give them a cup of coffee and a blow job… watch out. They’ll be showing up with a moving van the next day. Just sayin’.

There are the exceptions though. The diehard anti-relationship guys. Even then, they can be had, if you want them. Most of the time however, you really don’t want those. They can be demanding as hell and get on your nerves. Now, if you’re into being submissive and like being the 1950’s Suzy-Homemaker, steer clear of these types. If you are, then go for it.

Wow. The biggest complaint about in our genre is that in their attempt to write about gay men they in fact stereotype gay men has been slaughtered by the beast of this statement.

Dogs fuck. Squirrels fuck. Cows Fuck.

But what makes us different is the dance, the intricate workings of our humanness, our romance that separates man (universally used) from beast.

As a man first, I feel. And feelings are not feminine. But that certainly is the world view. Emma Watson gave a speech before the UN on the topic of Feminism and turned the tables around on men and begged them to be vulnerable after she quoted a statistic that said suicide is the third largest killer of men ages 18-49.  The other two killers of men are car accidents and Coronary heart disease.  How many gay people kill themselves? 23 veterans a day kill themselves. Why? Because they’re  not allowed this ‘feminine’ ability to feel. And in doing so, ask for help.

And he’s damn right, that non-feeling bullshit has found its way into the gay culture as well. Because there are people out there, who hear nothing but ‘you cant have love, you don’t love, your not good enough, you are trash, your ‘love’ isn’t real, you don’t get equal rights, you’re goin to hell’. So they turn to drugs, booze, prostitution, and God knows what else because they’ve turned off their feelings. And now…all they do…all they’re good for. Is a good fuck. Someone’s good time. Someone’s insta-love, which has replaced romance and has convinced the world the way to a man’s heart is through his pants.

How do I know that? I BELIEVED THAT SHIT! I did that shit!

Until I found out what love really was. And now this ex boozer, ex druggy, ex fundi, ex sex worker, is now a married, suzie homemaker type, who writes books, takes care of his husband, cleans and cooks, and writes stories in hopes that my profession to the world of the joys of romance, will change one life at a time.

Ladies, keep doing your thing. You are doing a wonderful job.

Men, its okay to feel. As a matter of fact, please feel. Your life depends on it.

Dr. Maya Angelou had this to say about romance. “Any culture that loses its Agape Romance runs the risk of becoming bitter, and brutish, and crass, and cruel, and even murderous.” Now transpose that statement onto where our societies are today and the implications will shock you. We need more romance. Not less.

As far as pigs go, speak for yourself bud.

((You can read the original response on my blog when  you follow the jump here))