I love social media—who reading this doesn’t? Many authors wouldn’t have published works—self published or otherwise—without it. Myself included. We’d have far fewer fans and readers. Using social media, we can meet people who we’d never have the chance to meet. And so long as you don’t let it completely take over your life and you go out and meet people in real life, it’s a way to broaden your life.

Case in point. I was very active on the Gay Authors site around the time we were trying to have a child. I documented somewhat the surrogacy process and shared a lot of pictures when she was born. A few of the people on the site wanted to send me gifts. For those who wouldn’t take no for an answer, I asked that they send her books from their childhood as we intended to read to her every night. They responded. ‘lil q has books from England, Wales, Germany, New Zealand and Australia. I doubt any of the children in her pre-school have heard of The Wonky Donkey, Possum Magic, The Little Mole Who Went in Search of Whodunit, the Tiger Who Came for Tea or ‘lil q’s favorite—Hairy Maclary, From Donaldson’s Dairy. These were books that others remembered from their childhood and now they are part of hers. Without social media, I’d never have met the kind souls who generously gave her these books.

I also met the co-author of my first book, (Un)Masked, through Gay Authors. But unlike most of the other friends I’ve made on-line, Anyta Sunday and I met several times in person. She came to our house with her son and husband and spent some holidays with us and our family. And that’s the point of today’s post.

Fresh off the return from Gay Rom Lit, I was reminded that as wonderful as social media is, the way to make it better is to take it to the next level and meet people in real life. Meeting people one-on-one adds a depth you can’t get on-line. Sometimes it helps, and other times I suppose it doesn’t. The quirks and traits that draw us to people don’t always translate to on-line interactions.

For me, I think I’m more relaxed and engaging on-line. I more apt to try to make a joke (though humor is another hard one to get right on-line) when I’m behind a screen and I can’t see the reaction if it falls flat. This is especially true when I’m in a crowd of people I don’t know and am supposed to socialize. Whew, do I get a big old fail on that test. But put me among friends, and I revert back to the person you ‘see’ on-line. The person I want to be.

At GRL, I’d met in person probably fifty people attending—met as in shook hands with and introduced myself to at least once. I was on closer footing with maybe twenty. But I’d met maybe a hundred more on-line. Some of the first people I hugged and greeted were people I’d never met in person. My conference buddy—Randi—and I had never met in person, but we quite good friends the entire weekend. Better friends by the end.

Some of my closest friends in the genre are people I met on-line, but became good friends with after meeting in person. I’d name names but I’d forget some, but a special mention has to be J.P. Barnaby. We knew each other on-line, but we hit it off the first time we met in April ’13. She’s helped me come out of my shell a bit. Of course, doing this makes me want to retreat back a bit, but I’m resisting.

Lest any think I’m suggesting that only friends in real life count, I’m not. I would never want to give up making friends on-line, I’ve made too many good friends that way. But I am suggesting that if you can get to a meet up, a conference, a retreat, a book signing—any type of event—you’ll find the friendship you already have becomes that much stronger. For those who think they’re not very good socially, I feel that way about myself. And yet, someone who saw all the pictures I took at GRL ’14 said they wished they were as social as me. If I can do it, anyone can.

Here’s a link to some of my GRL pictures for those who’d like to see.

http://andrewqgordon.com/2014/10/26/grl-14-and-me-in-pictures/

Andrew Q. Gordon wrote his first story back when yellow legal pads, ball point pens were common and a Smith Corona correctable typewriter was considered high tech. Adapting with technology, he now takes his MacBook somewhere quiet when he wants to write.

Andrew lives in the Washington, D.C. area with his husband, their daughter and dog. In addition to dodging self-important D.C. ‘insiders’, he uses his commute to catch up on his reading. When not working or writing, he enjoys soccer, high fantasy, baseball and seeing how much coffee he can drink in a day.

Follow Andrew:

On his website: www.andrewqgordon.com,

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/andrewqugordon,

On Twitter: @andrewqgordon,

Or just email him: andrewqgordon@gmail.com

Books:

From Wayward Ink Publishing:

A Closed Door

From Dreamspinner Press:

The Last Grand Master: (Champion of the Gods – Book 1)

The Eye and the Arm: (Champion of the Gods – Book 2 – Coming April ’15)

Purpose:

(Un)Masked

Self published:

Ashes of Life