With the announcement of dancers and all the new people coming to GayRomLit in October, several people have asked one simple question of me—what do I do? They’re not asking about meeting authors or getting to the hotel with this question, but about the dancers at the Juke Joint Junket on Thursday night. I’ve been to dozens of events with dancers and hung out with them as friends.

Jake Bass dancing at Hydrate in Chicago:

So, here are JP Barnaby’s tips for interacting with naked or mostly naked guys dancing for you at an event:

1. They are guys. I know this sounds pretty intuitive, but I’ve seen girls get around a dancer and suddenly this guy might as well be an alien. They’re just guys. They have day jobs, friends, laundry—the same as everyone else. Because of their chosen profession, most are very social. They like meeting new people, especially people with bills in their hands because it means they’ll be able to pay the rent. Say hi and tell him he’s beautiful.
2. Be respectful. Just because a guy takes his clothes off for a living (either as an adult model, dancer, or rentboy) doesn’t give anyone the right to touch him in a place he doesn’t want to be touched, tell him he’s a whore, or treat him like he’s beneath them. Generally, don’t touch him where he’s clothed – which is usually under his underwear. If he’s wearing a jock, again, this is not an invitation. It’s presentation. If you’re unsure about touching, point. He’ll get the idea and either give you permission or not.
3. How much to tip. This completely depends on you, your budget, and how much you like the guy. Personally, I tip in $20s because I can afford to and because usually I know the guy I’m tipping. If you’re not tipping in $20s make sure to break down your cash between the ATM and the guy. Set a limit for yourself and only bring to the event what you want to tip. I’ve seen all three guys dancing that night, trust me, you’ll want to tip.
4. How to tip. Again, this depends on you. I generally will hand a dancer his tip because I’m shy and don’t feel comfortable sliding it anywhere interesting. Some guys wear arm bands, you can slip it in there. If you choose to tip him in his underwear/jock, do it on the side. Why? Because paper cuts, especially with dirty money, hurt like a bitch. Guys have gotten staph infections from bills because they are handled by thousands of hands. If he wants you to touch anything else, trust me, he’ll let you know. I’ve had guys rub my hand on their crotch just to see me blush.
5. If you are drinking heavily, or your friends are, stay away from the dancers. These guys are not there to put up with drunken insults, groping, or abuse. I have seen a few take a swing at unruly patrons, mostly in self-defense. Don’t be the one people Facebook/Tweet about.

Remember you’re at the event to dance, catch up with friends, and have fun. The dancers are there to help with that. Don’t be afraid of them. Go up and say hi, trust me, you’ll be glad you did.

Beautiful Eli Lewis – notice the money in the side of his jock:

See you in a few weeks!

XOXO,

JP Barnaby

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Award winning romance novelist, J. P. Barnaby has penned over a dozen books including the Working Boys series, the Little Boy Lost series, In the Absence of Monsters,and Aaron. As a bisexual woman, J.P. is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago. A member of Mensa, she is described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted, and talented but deviant. She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica, which is, of course, far more interesting. The spare time that she carves out between her career and her novels is spent reading about the concept of love, which, like some of her characters, she has never quite figured out for herself.

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