3 Responses

  1. ali
    ali at |

    Romance is a hard genre for this because it is based around attraction as well as love. It seems what you’re saying is that you don’t find women sexually attractive and that had nothing to do with anything personal to women in general or in particular (ie the woman you had the relationship with)?
    The problem is women are surrounded by and still so defined by sexual attractiveness to men, even gay men obviously, that it feels like an attack to ‘undermine’ that, especially when it is something they can do nothing about (no cock for example!) The importance of this is obvious when changing yourself to enhance attractiveness artificially (by surgery, diet, make-up etc) has a long history and is so widespread now.
    I think it’s the feeling of how important attractiveness is that leads to the vulnerability to the words, that changes the relating of your experienced reality in life and what other gay men have told you, into a rejection and an attack.
    So what you felt with the repetition of ‘fat’ was a version of that because on the surface gay ‘society’ (for want of a better word!) projects the importance of slim/not fat as the acme of attractiveness.
    Of course we know that people actually find different things attractive – bears included!
    I have no idea how you could write the experience and feelings differently (sorry!) but thanks for sharing the topic and your situation.

    Reply
    1. bgthomasbooks
      bgthomasbooks at |

      Thank you so much for your words Permalink!

      Reply
  2. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones and Words Can Also Harm Me | B G Thomas - writer

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