Reviewed by Carissa
TITLE: Head-On
AUTHOR: John Inman
PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press
LENGTH: 220 pages
BLURB:
At twenty-six, Gordon Stafford figures his days are numbered. At least he hopes they are. Wearied by guilt and regret stemming from a horrific automobile accident two years earlier in which a man was killed, Gordon wakes up every morning with thoughts of suicide. While the law puts Gordon to work atoning for his sins, personal redemption is far harder to come by.
Then Squirt—a simple homeless man with his own crosses to bear—saves Gordon from a terrible fate. Overnight, Gordon finds not only a new light to follow, and maybe even a purpose to his life, but also the possibility of love waiting at the end of the tunnel.
Gordon never imagined he’d discover a way to forgive himself, and in doing so, open his heart enough to gain acceptance and love—from the very person he hurt the most.
REVIEW:
Well…that was unexpected.
Like, seriously, I am used to John Inman of the quirky humor and bellyful of laughs. I have yet to pick up something so serious from him. And while there is certainly the Inman humor lurking in these pages, it is so much more than that.
When this books starts out I have to say I wanted to slap Gordon. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so reckless? And yet, I know I have taken stupid risks while I have been driving. I also know the cost of those stupid risks. Slamming into the car of a pregnant lady on the freeway is something I will never forget. So yeah, I might want to slap Gordon, but only as much as I want to slap myself. Luckily, and by the grace of all the gods, fairies, and just dumb stupid luck, everyone walked away from my crash. Gordon was not so lucky. He killed a man, and hurt so many others–himself included–and that is not something you can just walk away from.
So now he has to live with that. And I think it can be said that he is not doing so well with that. The guilt is nearly killing him, but if the guilt misses, I sure the alcohol will be all too willing to lend a hand. Gordon is drifting thru life, trying to find even a brief moment of happiness, but everything is being smothered under the guilt and the pain.
I really liked the first section of this book–despite the nasty flashbacks that I got kicked with from Gordon’s accident. The pain, the depression that Gordon has to deal with, is very well written. You can feel his hopelessness. But also there is a kernel of hope. Something that keeps him from reaching for that last escape. And it’s Squirt that nudges that kernel into life. That keeps Gordon safe, keeps him from falling apart long enough to see that there might be something worth hanging around for.
I loved Squirt, loved the innocence that was wrapped around this broken man. But he was a lot stronger than anyone believes. He would have to be after all that has happened to him. Still the way he smiles, the way he makes Gordon smile, is really nice. I did have a hard time with the whole name Squirt, though. It kept making me think ‘child’ when Squirt is not that at all. That coupled with the descriptions of him, just kept nudging my ‘ick’ factor a bit too much. I know in my head that he is an adult, and by the time I got to the end it really wasn’t a big deal, but still, at the beginning it just felt like Gordon was perving on a kid. Even though he wasn’t.
There was also a bit too much lovey-dovey talk for my taste. I think some of it was just who the guys were, but I think there were times when it made the scene a little too much of a romantic cliché, when what I really wanted was the down and gritty reality. It didn’t throw me off a whole lot, but there were some scenes where the love felt too fast, too soon, or just too much.
Still…it also felt right. Like everyone in this story was tied to each other in complicated and ridiculous ways. And that is the way it was supposed to be. Like the only way to fix it–fix all of them–was to gather all the pieces and try to find a new picture to create out of the broken original. Would I have liked to not have guessed the twist from almost the beginning? Yes. But I like how it turned out anyways.
I liked this story. Liked how the words were not always what they seem–that they have depth and meaning if you just look a little harder. I liked how I was able to laugh, and still hurt at the same time. I liked that not everything was expected, but even those parts that were, felt right. I liked how the homeless lifestyle was not glossed over, or treated lightly. I liked watching Gordon and Squirt fall in love, and then fall apart. And then fall back together. I liked finding more from John Inman than I expected.
I just really liked this.
RATING: 
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