Reviewed by Donna
TITLE: Missed Connections: I Swear to You
AUTHOR: Sloan Parker
PUBLISHER: Loose Id
LENGTH: 120 Pages
BLURB:
When roommates Grady and Mateo give in to their growing lust, it’s the best sexual experience of their lives. But are they really gay? Is this just sex or something more? It takes time for confused Grady to figure that out, but once he does, he’s determined to have all of Mateo. Too bad tracking down brokenhearted Mateo proves impossible.
So what’s a horny gay virgin who wants only one man to do? Grady posts an ad online to encourage his friend out of hiding and into his bed. Once he gets Mateo between the sheets, he’s sure he can convince him that what they had together was no college experiment. But Mateo’s been hiding from something—or someone. Grady is determined to tear down all Mateo’s walls so he can find out what happened to him and help heal his wounds, and in the process show his best friend that he won’t run. Not this time. He swears.
REVIEW:
“That last weekend we were here… That was the last time.”
“The last time what?”
“I was happy.”
Grady and Mateo had been best friends forever. Grady’s family was Mateo’s family and Mateo relied on them always being there. Why would anything come between his family and him? Why? Because after the two young men spent a surprisingly hot weekend together Grady flipped the hell out, decided he wasn’t gay and walked out of Mateo’s life. That is the prologue.
So the blurb tells us that it takes time for Grady to figure out that it’s Mateo that he wants. Yeah, six years and two marriages to poor clueless women worth of time! Now Grady has finally admitted to himself that he’s gay he coincidently spots Mateo at a pride parade and when Mateo runs from him (a sure sign that the dude is NOT interested) he relentlessly begins tracking him down. He uses Facebook, Craigslist, hunts for old addresses and goes to speak to Mateo’s estranged relatives. When all that fails he enlists his brother, the deputy sheriff and even borrows his handcuffs. His brother helps him find Mateo and this time Grady forces Teo to listen.
This book… I’m just so damn conflicted
right now. To be honest I don’t know whether I liked it or not. Maybe I need to break it all down so I don’t leave you all as confused as I’m feeling because trying to review this story is bringing on my need to ramble a bit and drop the f word more than a bit.
My first thought is, this story is by Sloan Parker. I love Sloan Parker – usually. So because this book is by an author I admire am I expecting too much from a book that is perfectly adequate? Do I expect all of her books to knock my socks off, and if they don’t am I too critical? Or, was the story really not that great but because Sloan Parker wrote it I’m trying to convince myself that it’s better than what it actually is? Ha. I guess either one of those theories is possible and neither of them really help you do they! I truthfully don’t know the answer but this book does not sit right in my head. Because seriously, I’ve changed my rating on this book several times now and it’s swung everywhere from a 2.5 to a 4 and then back again.
Grady, well there’s no confusion there. Grady is an asshat. I really don’t like Grady and the only reason I was happy when the two men finally get together is because Mateo is happy again. What bugs me most about Grady is he came across to me as arrogant and self-absorbed. He seems so damn proud of himself for admitting that he’s gay and finally deciding to do something about it. And you know what. Congrats to him. I guess from all the horrible stories you hear making the decision to say – hey I’m gay, is something that can be very scary for some people. But, he’s still a douche because:
1) He came out to his family via Facebook
2) Mateo, his best friend, begged him not to leave and he walked away, literally
3) He married two women (not at the same time) in an attempt to not be gay while jerking off to thoughts of Mateo
4) Six years later, when Mateo is the one who tries to walk away, he handcuffs him and expects Mateo to listen – because Grady is ready now.
So Grady being proud of his decision to admit to being gay, bully for him, it just pissed me off.
Which brings us to Mateo. Again, the conflict. Mateo should be another character I don’t like. He forgives Grady way (way, way, WAY!) too easily for my liking. I’m a drama queen about these things. I like to see tears and groveling and Grady should have thrown himself onto burning hot coals or something. Instead they talk it out. And shit, don’t people who write reviews always complain that characters don’t talk! Well these ones do and here’s me still complaining. I guess some people can just never be pleased. But seriously, no man who walked away from his begging BFF should be forgiven after talking it out! The time to talk was six years ago, before he walked away. But I think I just felt too sorry for Mateo to not like him. Grady, and then the boyfriend who came after Grady, have damaged him so badly that he is like a wounded animal.
“Who hurt you?”
Finally Mateo spun his way. “You did.”
The rain shifted and blasted Grady’s face again. He recoiled a step. Not from the rain. “I didn’t leave you scarred.”
Mateo glared at him. “Yes, you did.”
See, that right there. That’s why I’m unsure about how to rate this book. I don’t think I really enjoyed the plot. I hated the hell out of one of the main characters and felt that I shouldn’t have liked the second one. But holy shit did this story make me cry. Well, taken as just that little snippet it isn’t so emotional but, trust me, they just kept saying things and thinking things and I could not stop bloody crying. Which is something I’d normally say is a sign of a good book. If it can affect me to the point of tears, several times, maybe I just hated Grady so much I couldn’t appreciate this story. Especially because the story is told exclusively from Grady’s point of view. Although I was actually glad about that. The shit Mateo comes out with hurt my heart enough when it came from Grady’s perspective. To hear it while experiencing Teo’s emotions would have caused an even bigger sob fest.
“Why did you stay? Why didn’t you just leave?”
“It didn’t feel like the right move.” Mateo shrugged, hands in his pockets. “I was waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
“You.”
Grady stopped.
Mateo did too. He gave him a long look. It was loyalty and devotion and maybe something more all rolled into one. “I had to make sure that if you ever figured things out and wanted to try again, I could be with you.”
Ok, I think I’m done. My uncertainty about whether or not to recommend this book laid out, reread and I’m still not completely sure. If I had to give a more definite response to this story I’d probably have to say – well written but I don’t like it. At least I didn’t say f#@k once.
RATING: 
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