I think one of the questions we female writers get asked a lot is how we can write gay romance when we’re women, no matter what the sexual preference. I think my answer would be that I’m sure Stephen King didn’t actually meet Pennywise the children-eating clown in order to write about him. I’m sure that James Hilton had never been to Shangri La when he wrote Lost Horizon. And L Ron Hubbard had sure not been to space when he wrote Battlefield Earth.
To me it’s like anything a writer does. It’s imagination and detailed research. Yes, there is the added complication that as women we are writing from a man’s perspective, attributing emotions and actions that are male when we write. But again – women have all been exposed to them in one way or another and I think we can make a fairly educated guess as to how they would speak, react, at least enough to write a believable fictional story. It’s the same thing as men writing books with female characters and I’ve read quite a few of those.
The picture below is just a little bit of fun, nothing serious…
As a writer you draw on your experience and your own situations to be able to write a realistic portrayal of two men in love. I am very fortunate to have two good gay male couples as friends who are happy to read my books, comment on the sex scenes, give me advice on where perhaps there is a flaw but overall both couples have said they can find little fault with the way I write them technically at least.
Of course, one of the chaps said he ‘test drove’ my sex scenes and he was quite happy with the way THAT turned out, so I shall forever be grateful to him for that commitment to his duty in verifying my research. The man deserves a medal 🙂
And of course there are plenty of ‘technical’ ways we ladies validate our writing and I won’t go into them here. I also love watching gay films and spend a fair amount of time doing so. And I don’t mean the porn sites …although…..*grins* I have close to 800 M/M books on my Kindle so by reading other authors works, a lot of them men, also helps to give you an idea of how things are tackled.
I’d like to think my books give the male impression and emotions as best I can, and so far I’ve had no complaints. I think it’s always an important question to ask though -Am I portraying this a man would feel and act to the best of my ability’ and I think if the answer is Yes and the readers are still buying your books, and your male readers aren’t frothing at the mouth with indignation – then I think you’ve probably done a damn good job.
You know, this question keeps coming up in the genre, and I have to wonder how much of it is not about women writing about men as much as it is women writing *period*. I think there is a bit of a built-in bias against women writers in general. I say this because ‘romance’ as an overall genre, written largely by women for women, tends to be sneered at by the literary world–despite the fact that romance stories are hugely popular and big sellers.
It just seems to me no one would even *question* Stephen King for writing a story about a young girl shunned by her classmates–whereas the reverse, the validity of women writing about male characters, comes up again and again.
One of my favorite authors is Dick Francis. I recall after his death, there were rumors that his wife had actually written most of his stories. I’m not sure what to believe, but I could certainly understand how a former Champion jockey would carry a greater cachet in the mystery/crime/thriller world than the *wife* of a former Champion jockey. Especially in the era during which most of the stories were written.
Great post! I get this question a lot. My m/f books were about witches. No one ever asked me how I’m able to write about witches when I’ve never been one! lol
As a female reader, my main problems with sex scenes are that I’ve never known men who talked continuously, had so many orgasms, and had such long and involved sex as men in M/M romance. It gets old when they take up the majority of the book. I buy a book for the story and for me, quality is better than quantity, no matter the gender of the author.
I had to giggle at your response here, Andrea! I don’t know *anyone* who talks as much as some characters seem to do in sex scenes! And like you, I prefer my sex scenes to be used as seasoning for the story–too heavy a hand with the salt-shaker and everything tastes the same. 🙂
Some really interesting views here. Sarah I hear you. That good old ‘glass ceiling’ for women may well apply to the writing profession as well. I mean, look at J K Rowling writing as Robert Galbraith for her book ‘The Cuckoo’s Calling’ hoping to trade on a man’s name for that specific genre of writing. There must have been a well thought reason behind the initial thought, that a man would fare better than a woman, even one as well known as JK! I was never quite sure what the rationale was for that, Then sales weren’t so good until it was revealed it was her then hey presto! It’s a funny old world. Andrea, I hear you too. It is a fine line between story and sex and as authors we hope we are able to draw that line,
I’m not sure what the reasoning for Rowling taking a male pen name, either, except for the fact that everyone I know who writes mysteries says that a male or gender neutral pseudonym is paramount. I have a sneaking suspicion it was something else in this case. If I were Rowling, having come off the huge success of the Harry Potter stories, and was now trying my hand in a totally different genre, I suspect I’d take on a different pen name just to see what kind of reaction I got at first. That way I’d know if people were responding to my ‘brand’ versus the story I’d just written.
I don’t know if anything so complicated was going on there in Rowling’s case–I suspect someone said to her, “Well, if you’re going to write mysteries, you’d better have a male pen name!” 🙂
Sarah: Nora Roberts had the same problem writing mysteries and hence J.D. Robb was born. Then it was revealed several years ago that she was the actual writter and i think it got even more popular. 🙂 I’m sure publishing said that it had to be gender neutral or male because how would a woman know about…mysteries. *shakes head* I think though, that that line of thought is changing with the world of e-publishing. Andrea: I’m of the same mind. I’m a new writer and my first story will not have sex in it at all. While I have not written a sex scene I have read A LOT of MM books over the years (about 4 years) and there are visual aids out there. I also have a few gay friends/authors that I have to beta my stuff so I make sure I’m not doing something weird. I think balance is key.
Eloreen: These days I hear more and more people make the case for *not* having separate pen names for separate genres, as it can divide your audience and it takes twice as much work to maintain two (or more) different platforms, but I can see where someone writing in two very different genres, such as Roberts, might choose to do so. Simply to help readers identify which stories they’d prefer to read. But I think you hit the nail on the head with saying this was something the publishing industry demanded–and that we’ll see more and more flexibility in terms of what is done in publishing–greater diversity of characters, less formulaic writing and so on.
I think though, the second half of your response here is an excellent example of what Susan said here, though: do your research and get expert advice/beta readers. When the writing is solid, like Susan’s is, then the question of author gender doesn’t come into it! 🙂
I’m really pleased this post has generated some great comments! Thanks for the compliment Sarah, must appreciated.And there have been some really good points made here. Thanks to all for stopping by the blog.