REVIEWED by Jen B.

TITLE: Surviving the Merge

SERIES: Chadwick #1

AUTHOR: C.P. Harris

PUBLISHER: C.P. Harris

LENGTH: 322 Pages

RELEASE DATE: May 26, 2020

BLURB:

My name is Justin, and when I was seventeen, I fell in love with a boy named Damon.

Damon was sick, only I didn’t know it at the time. And like any disease left untreated, it festered and burrowed into the unaffected areas of us, until we were both so far from healthy, we were killing one another. Then a tragedy sparked our implosion.

With nothing of us remaining to salvage, I was left to pick up the pieces, while Damon found his escape in the abyss. Leaving me alone with Blake.

Damon and Blake are two halves of a whole. But Damon is the coldest part of darkness, and Blake the warmest part of light. Which form of ecstasy would you choose?

I love Blake with a ferocious intensity akin to the peeling back of skin. But Blake isn’t Damon. And Damon was gone—until now.

What once threatened to tear us apart has become our catharsis.

Outnumbered in the relationship with the man who was my life, I’ve begun to learn more about love than I ever thought possible.

**An M/M romance and book one in the Chadwick trilogy.
Can be read as a standalone, but reading in order is recommended as the characters make appearances in all three books. Surviving the Merge contains explicit sex and graphic language.

Author’s note: For those that appreciate warnings, please use the Amazon “look inside” feature to find them within the first several pages.

REVIEW:

Wowzers. This was a really interesting and emotional story! I’m not sure where to even start. There are a lot of things going on here but they all surround Justin and his husband, Damon/Blake. When this story begins, we learn about the differences between Damon and Blake, along with the reasons for their existence. As the story unfolds, it appears that Blake (the sweet, understand, caring and nurturing one) is the main character, or host, as they call it. But as we delve deeper into the reasons for the two, we learn that it is, in fact, Damon (the hardcore, seemingly unfeeling one), who is the original person who, after suffering unspeakable trauma and abuse as a child, created Blake.

Blake is the successful businessman, while Damon runs the club, Elite, where he and Justin meet while Justin was dancing. Damon brings out another side to Justin and fulfills Justin’s needs in a way that Blake simply cannot. However, those needs are not such that they can be acted on full time and they also lack the other things Justin needs – caring, nurturing, love, etc. – which Blake fulfills.

Unfortunately, their relationship is becoming increasingly difficult to sustain, and therefore, their therapist suggests attempting to merge Blake and Damon so they can work together. This is more complicated with the varying aspects of who can feel what while the other is present, who loses time, etc. This changes as the therapy goes on, but stuck somewhat in the middle is Justin, who loves both versions and while he wants them to work together, is terrified of losing one or the other. When Justin learns about a betrayal he thought was done by Damon was actually done by Blake, he needs to take a step back to try and find himself. He takes a break from his job as Ballet Master and moves out in the hopes of doing just that and finding a purpose that doesn’t revolve around Blake or Damon. As bad as Damon/Blake’s struggles are, Justin is going through some of his own.

This was a page turner for me. So many things going on with everyone. So many emotions, and I absolutely love when a book title plays a role just fits right into the story, as this one truly does. There are also some fabulous side characters in this one. From Justin’s first actual bff, Sam, to Damon’s childhood bff, Ash, and the topper on the cake, the therapist, Julie. She was perfect for them and I enjoyed their sessions as much as anything else.

This has some dark aspects to it, most all of them involving Damon, but they are heartbreaking and really show an understanding about him. I’m shocked this is a debut novel, and I most certainly will be on the lookout for more C.P. Harris in the future if this is any indication of what’s to offer. Highly recommend.

RATING:

BUY LINK:

Amazon