Good morning, all my lovely readers! I thought I’d do something a little different today. I’m talking about body perceptions in connection to Temptations of Desire, my newest release in the Desires Entwined series. You see, Dal is 6’2”, very muscular, loves bikes, leather, has pale skin with little toffee colored freckles on the bridge of his nose and upper cheeks, and is a cop, so very masculine / butch, right? Well, other than the cute little freckles, at least;)
Alex is sort of his polar opposite physically. Alex is a light black man (physically); about 5’9″, high cheekbones, light tan / amber eyes, soft, chocolate brown hair, and is genderfluid. Alex is never the truly butch boy, even when he’s feeling all boy that day. It’s simply not him.
The main problem is that Dal’s appearance is what most expects of him, never something he has to fear, or questions. The worst he’s going to get is teased for being a ginger boy (very auburn/red hair!). Unless the clothes come off at least. He has something about his body that has been an issue in the past as well, but isn’t something most would realize unless he’s nude.
While Alex struggles to find comfort in his skin, no matter his gender identity that day, Dal does not. It’s never a question. Dal, however, has dealt with a couple of exes that have made him feel like a freak for not being ‘cut’ like so many men his age are. No, these issues are not the same in any way, or are they? In each case, the person struggles to find comfort and love of their body because of the words and actions of others. Dal can hide his with everyone, but a sexual partner, while Alex cannot. Not if he wants to be true to how the gender he feels shifts from day to day.
One of the things I strove to show was how love and acceptance of self is important to the security and hope each character felt. Whether it’s being rejected for being fluid in your sense of gender or you have something about your body that you’ve been emotionally hurt because of, it all matters to the person and is something we all deal with.
Who doesn’t have something about their body that they hate? That they have been picked on, hurt because of, or makes them feel “less”? It doesn’t matter if it’s only by your own perception, it all matters. In Alex’s case, it took finding Dal, a man that loves and embraces Alex no matter how he dresses, feels, or is at any given time. For Dal it was being loved by someone that thought him perfect, just the way he was.
What’s something you struggle with? Have you lashed out at others for being, looking, or acting differently than you would? Can you change that? Not how you look/are, but how you react to others. How we perceive ourselves is more important than how others do, but sadly, their input often warps our own view. Next time you want to tease, lash out, or insult, think. How would you feel? Only we can chose how we treat others because of our differences. It might just you that needs the kindness next time.
to sleek black for business. He even has a pair with more paint
splatters than metal. After his family’s rejection and abuse from a
man he thought loved him, James only just gets through the day by
painting. He lives in constant fear that he’s not worthy of
anything, let alone love.
take-charge kind of guy, and he is instantly smitten by the artist
helping with his newest project. When he witnesses James suffer a
panic attack, a protective instinct he never knew he had kicks in. He
truly believes nothing is unobtainable—including James—if he’s
willing to put in the time and effort.
Seth’s support, can he work through his fears to finally find the
true love he deserves, or will someone finally land the crushing blow
he won’t survive?
his Dom and lover Seth.Seth treats James with all the trust and love his sub desires. There is
only one thing left to do to make it all complete: Seth needs to put a collar on James.
surface. Only James, Chase’s BFF, knows the depth of his loyalty and
the extent of the wounds Chase carries inside. When Chase meets Rhys
Sayer, things don’t go well, but he can’t shake his attraction to
the huge, sexy man.
and bodyguard. He’s in a bad place emotionally when he sets eyes on
Chase for the first time. When Chase puts the moves on him, Rhys
insults him, thwarting any possibility of a relationship. Rhys
doesn’t see himself as a complicated man, but he dreads the very
kind of connection he desires.
harm’s way. Luckily Rhys and their friends have all the right
talents to help Rhys save the man of his dreams.
thing he expects to find is his lover and life partner, Rhys Sayer,
on bended knee. But the news that marriage has been legalized in the
state is a game changer for both of them.
PrideFest to celebrate. However, what happens when they arrive will
bond them together forever—if their friends don’t have a
collective meltdown about their sudden disappearance first.
Right a long time ago. He’s not asking for much, though. He just
wants a guy who loves all of him and appreciates his feminine form too.
Sayer, an officer of the Milwaukee PD. Because he’s been rejected
one too many times, Alex doesn’t trust the huge cop and the
interest he shows in him, but once Dal sets his mind on something, he
goes all out. Pushing aside his preconceived notions, Alex opens up
just a little and soon caves.
and his parents’ demands for him to settle down and have
children—Dal never takes his eyes off his goal of making Alex his.
But proving to Alex he isn’t like all the men who couldn’t see
him for who he truly was and only wanted to hide him away is harder
than he thought.
back at him. Despite his high grades and plans for culinary arts
school after graduation, his parents would hate him if they really knew him.
eyes the girls jealously, longing to be able to dress like them—to
be them. The constant struggle of being “gender fluid,” wrestling
with an identity that seems to change daily, begins to wear on Alex.
But all those questions and fears seem more manageable when his
sister gives him his first skirt and lace panties
in love more than a little ironic, but he’s tired of being used for
his wallet. When a night out turns into a matchmaking scheme
orchestrated by his best friends, Simon’s not thrilled, but since
he’s not the target and he’s sworn off happily-ever-after anyway,
he goes along with it… until he meets Adrian, the object of their
efforts, and finds perhaps he hasn’t given up on love after all.
himself, he’s never had any success at making a connection. After
his friends con him into going out and Adrian realizes it’s all an
elaborate plan to set him up, he braces for yet another failure, only
to discover there is a spark—except it’s not with the man his
friends had in mind, but with Simon Tyler instead.
Simon and Adrian might be on the path to happily-ever-after.
growing up had the courage to do what they couldn’t—defy the hate
and come out. He has been their hero ever since.
happily-ever-afters. Though new to writing M/M, they has done many
things in their life, yet writing has always drawn them back—no
matter what else life has thrown their way. They counts her friends,
family, and Muse as their greatest blessings in life. They live in
Wisconsin with their children, reading, writing, and enjoying life.
Tempe is also a proud PAN member of Romance Writers of America®, WisRWA,
and Rainbow Romance Writers.
Tempe’s preferred pronouns are they/them/their/theirs/themselves.
To learn more about Tempeste and their writing, visit http://tempesteoriley.com.
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Thank you for the post, Tempeste! I’ve struggled with some physical issues myself, so I completely understand your point. It is essential to learn to love and accept oneself, before being able to do the same with others…
It is so very essential and something we are oftentimes taught the very opposite of. Sadly. Thank you for stopping by!