I love GayRomLit – it’s an annual gathering of my community, the people who read, write, edit, illustrate, and enjoy gay romance. This year in particular, a dear friend who has several times been blocked from attending by life events will be there at last. I can’t wait to see her again, and to watch her enjoy the atmosphere of GRL.
I’m bringing a variety of swag I think people will like, and by now I know I can handle my Q&A session Thursday afternoon. There are people who wanted my books in paper enough to pre-order them. I’ve had a great time every year, and I’ve never been to Virginia before.
And yet, my introvert brain has spent the last week coming up with reasons not to go.
I have a book out that I’m still working with, trying to get a minor change into the posted version –> I should stay home and fix that.
My little dog is getting old, with a heart murmur, and he sleeps so soundly that last night I had to pick him up to wake him. Scared me a bit –> I should stay home, just in case.
I don’t know how many books to bring for sale, with my 50 pound suitcase weight limit –> If I don’t go, I don’t have to decide.
It actually gets a bit funny, how any small thing that comes up can be twisted into a reason to stay home.
Not that I will. One great thing about GRL is that it’s full of introverts like me, and there’s always common ground. When I can’t think of something to say, I can blurt out “How about that Magpie Lord?” and the other person’s eyes will light up and we’re off and running. Oh, and name tags. I don’t have to remember faces and names— a thing that I often blank on in social situations. Name tags are a blessing. I just have to remember to spell my own pen name right when I sign stuff. (You think I’m joking. Not.)
This GRL promises to be as fun as ever. So many friends coming whom I only see once a year. I look forward to the 80’s costume party. There are always people who go all out with amazing costumes. (I thought about bringing a skirt-suit I bought in the 80’s, big shoulder pads, no collar and all. But that 50# suitcase limit reminded me it wasn’t flattering the first time around. Deely boppers it is.)
I’m going to spend a couple of days first with my editor Jonathan Penn in North Carolina, researching the setting for the third Tracefinder book. Then we’ll drive on to GRL. I can’t wait. Well, 3/4 of me can’t wait. Which is enough. I hope to see some of you there. Stop by and say hi.
-Kaje Harper
October 2018
Introvert here as well. I’m just starting this path to writer-hood, -ship-, uh. see LOL I can write a storm but if I don’t know you, I won’t speak unless spoken to. If you do ask me something, at first it will be small answers. If you keep talking to me and I start to feel comfortable and we hit a topic I love…forget it, you will never shut me up, I am so used to my wife and 17 yr old son interrupting me cause romance is boring, that not only will I never shut up, I will talk super fast to try and get everything out and I may go up in volume until you cringe cause I am nearly shouting I am so excited to talk to a real live human adult being that loves something I love and we want to talk about it. (pant pant-see LOL)
*dragging the word out* Unless… you are a guy. Bad past experiences make me super jumpy and very nervous around men. I find it hard to trust them and it will be like opening a can of WWII army beans with your fingers to get me to open up. I HATE THAT! Guys are really awesome and funny, but I have a hair trigger waiting for something to happen. Not so much physically (although there is that) but that somehow they will try to make me feel stupid , or dominate the conversation, or turn my words around and confuse me. I usually never give them a chance. I’m working on it. Is it just me? Do other authors “buck up” and plaster a smile on their faces and plow through? How do you manage?
At the moment I am a humble fanfic writer, working on two books I pray to finish by the end of November to give to an editor and then we’ll see. I don’t have the money to really “go pro”, but I am curious how far these two stories can go. Best of luck to you! I already feel stupid enough I may as well ask…how do you pronounce your name? I would say it like Kaiya because it is very close to a Norwegian princess’ name, Kaja. Ok running for my hidey hole now.
((Hugs)) Very best of luck with your books. I hope you have a great time bringing them to publication and that they do well for you. A lot of authors are introverts, and over time you do learn to navigate the public parts of that. My first GRL I went as a reader, because I was not walking into it blind. My second I was a wreck before my Q&A session, now that at least is much more comfortable. And some people just don’t do those things because they really dislike them. You pick your own comfort level. GRL or any in-person interaction is not a requirement to be a successful author.
And my name is pronounced like “cage” – it’s an old nickname, not anything exotic. 🙂 (Definitely not a stupid question – it’s so common a debate that I put the pronunciation on my website. But I’m not bothered if someone gets it wrong, either.)
Have a great time, Kaje!! Just think of all the plots you can come up with, the locations you’ll see and the interesting characters you’ll meet… Maybe you’ll have some new fodder for another book…or two!
<3 Definitely one of the perks in going to somewhere I have never been.
I am a Closeted Gay Man myself.
((Hugs)) You do what works for you. I hope you can enjoy the books. Conferences like GRL are a place you can be yourself, and with an online name for your badge if you prefer. We do have “no photos” badges, although it’s not possible to guarantee no exposure. But you might find it fun to try sometime.