Reviewed by Becca
AUTHOR: Sid Love
PUBLISHER: Cool Dudes Publishing
LENGTH: 258 pages
RELEASE DATE: June 13, 2017
Austin Reyes works as a bartender to support his ailing mother in a small town called Eaton. But his life takes a horrible turn when his boss’ son, Caleb, arrives in town and forces* himself upon Austin. There is no end to Caleb’s lustful intentions. Austin leaves Eaton and flees to Denver to start a new life when his mother commits suicide after succumbing to depression. There, he meets Dylan Carver.
Dylan is out and proud. He’s also a well-known actor in the porn industry. When haters damage his car, Austin, now homeless and destitute, is injured and Dylan helps him. In the immediate aftermath, Dylan develops more than a passing interest for Austin, and, though they part ways, chance meetings never stop.
Austin lets Dylan in on the secret about his past, but soon realizes that the man who looked so happy on the outside, has his own baggage. Unbeknownst to them, someone is plotting to get Austin killed.
Even while surrounded by danger, Austin and Dylan’s relationship takes a detour that was always meant to be. Will this detour be Dylan’s undoing? Will Austin finally come to terms with his mother’s suicide and follow his own truth? Or will their lives implode?
WARNING: RAPE SCENES
I have to be honest that this is a very hard review for me to write in terms of both the subject matter as well as the formulating my thoughts. This is the first I’ve read of Sid Love’s books. It has some very dark moments right from the beginning. The whole book is a roller coaster of emotions: from Austin being raped daily, to his mother’s suicide, to having to be torn from his home to escape being hurt again. If any of this is a trigger for you, I recommend not reading it. However, I felt that though it is tough to read, the story is well done and this is a good book.
I felt for Austin all through this book. The author does a really great job portraying his emotions, especially during the rape scenes. With each rape or attempted rape, Austin feels so helpless and weak and desperate to escape. His fear is tangible. But at the same time, he’s trying to care for his sick mother so he can’t afford to give up his job. He has to stay in this horrible situation and has to force himself to keep pushing forward. You can really feel his despair and the fact that he feels like he has no way out. So he does anything he can in his mind to think of anything else to get through. It was so tough to read, but well written.
I hated the result when someone finally catches Austin being attacked. It actually makes things worse for Austin. The person catching them is the boss and he believes his son. Austin is mortified that no one believes him and that they think he was just trying to force his ‘gay’ on people. And it gets even worse when he finds his mother after she takes her own life. Man, noe Austin truly feels his life is over. He is devastated and her reason for her suicide is heartbreaking.
And just when things are looking to hit rock bottom, Austin is forced to flee to escape another attack. His clothes are torn, he has no shoes, no money, no anything. He is just desperate to escape.
It is at this point that Austin meets Dylan and things begin to turn around. And thank goodness because the emotional rollercoaster needed a break! Austin ends up in therapy to help overcome his thoughts and dreams, and to help him to cope better in everyday life. He’s such a remarkable character.
And Dylan becomes another extraordinary character as he becomes the support for Austin and helps him to recover in different ways. Dylan helps Austin learn to trust again and how to be in control and not feel weak and helpless. Little by little, Dylan helps Austin overcome his fear of sexual intimacy with little touch and kisses along his body until eventually the actual act of sex starts to happen. Dylan understand that sex isn’t just sex and is a way for Austin to gain confidence and control so Dylan lets Austin lead.
That’s what stands out most to me in this book. The amazing way Austin keeps going no matter how hard it is and the way Dylan helps him find new life by being his support system and helping him through the rough patches. Being a survivor of rape is so hard and although Austin has difficult times, he keeps pushing to make a better life.
I really enjoyed this book. Once I got past the rough scenes, it shows the resilience of humans and the willingness to survive. If the scenes are not a trigger, I recommend this book.