A warm welcome to author Lisa Henry who today is visiting Love Bytes for the promotion of her new Riptide release “Adulting 101”. Lisa is talking about Poetry and there is also a giveaway to participate in!
Welcome Lisa 🙂
Hi, and welcome to the blog tour to celebrate the release of Adulting 101 by Lisa Henry. I’m visiting some of my favourite blogs around the place to talk about writing Adulting 101, some of my influences and inspiration, and even sharing an excerpt or two! Don’t forget to leave a comment for your chance to win a prize! So, without further ado, I present to you: ass poetry!
Nick Stahlnecker is one of my MC’s in my latest release Adulting 101. He’s eighteen, has no brain-to-mouth filter, and is hopelessly in lust with the hotter-than-the-sun Jai Hazenbrook. If you read Adulting 101, you’ll be subjected—I mean treated—to one particular facet of Nick’s obsession: poetry.
Nick is so in lust with Jai that he writes poems about him. Specifically, his ass. So here now, for the first time, are the Collected Poems of Nick Stahlnecker. All of them are dedicated to Jai’s ass.
I hadn’t actually written a haiku since high school. From what I remember they are a beautiful form of poetry, where the sparseness of the language makes way for some truly beautiful imagery. Obviously Nick’s haiku is a little different than that.
That ass is so hot.
I would totally hit it.
Yes yes yes yes yes.
I was going to write a full sonnet, I really was. I looked up the structure and everything. And then, like Nick, I abandoned it when it got too hard. Because what rhymes with mouth? I’ve got nothing.
Jai’s Ass: A sonnet (abandoned)
Jai’s ass is like the most incredible thing
I want to do things to it with my mouth
I look at it and heaps of angels sing
And (something that rhymes with mouth goes here)
Limericks are more in my wheelhouse. I mean, they’re pretty much designed to be filthy, right? Which made them a perfect vehicle for Nick’s obsession.
There once was a man called Jai
Who was the world’s most hottest guy
And I’m shit out of luck
If we never fuck
I’ll scream, “Why Jesus why Jesus why???????”
Honestly, I wish I’d crammed some more ass poetry in there, but as you can tell I’m pretty terrible at it. Coincidentally, so is Nick. Nick is also terrible at making sure his collection of ass poetry—let’s call it an Assthology—doesn’t end up in Jai’s hands.
The struggle is real.
Nick Stahlnecker is eighteen and not ready to grow up yet. He has a summer job, a case of existential panic, and a hopeless crush on the unattainable Jai Hazenbrook. Except how do you know that your coworker’s unattainable unless you ask to blow him in the porta-potty?
That’s probably not what Dad meant when he said Nick should act more like an adult.
Twenty-five-year-old Jai is back in his hometown of Franklin, Ohio, just long enough to earn the money to get the hell out again. His long-term goal of seeing more of the world is worth the short-term pain of living in his mother’s basement, but only barely.
Meeting Nick doesn’t fit in with Jai’s plans at all, but, as Jai soon learns, you don’t have to travel halfway around the world to have the adventure of a lifetime.
This is not a summer romance. This is a summer friendship-with-benefits. It’s got pizza with disgusting toppings, Netflix and chill, and accidental exhibitionism. That’s all. There are no feelings here. None. Shut up.
You can find out more about Adulting 101 at Riptide.
Lisa likes to tell stories, mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters.
Lisa lives in tropical North Queensland, Australia. She doesn’t know why, because she hates the heat, but she suspects she’s too lazy to move. She spends half her time slaving away as a government minion, and the other half plotting her escape.
She attended university at sixteen, not because she was a child prodigy or anything, but because of a mix-up between international school systems early in life. She studied History and English, neither of them very thoroughly.
She shares her house with too many cats, a green tree frog that swims in the toilet, and as many possums as can break in every night. This is not how she imagined life as a grown-up.
You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Or check out my website at lisahenryonline.com
Got Twitter? Follow me at https://twitter.com/LisaHenryOnline
Hanging out on Goodreads? So am I: Lisa Henry
Each comment on this blog tour enters you for a chance to win a $20 Riptide credit and an ebook of your choice from my back catalogue. You’ll also win a super secret cute little gift that’s very close to my (and Nick’s) heart! Entries close August 20, and contest is not restricted to US residents. Remember to leave your email address in the comments so I can contact you if you win!