I had something else for this month’s post, but then something interesting happened this weekend. We were out for dinner to celebrate ‘lil q turning four yesterday (not her birthday, but we went out with Mike’s parents because her birthday falls on a week day this year) and my mother called. I thought she called because she knew we were ‘celebrating’ and wanted to wish ‘lil q a happy birthday. My mistake. She wished me a happy anniversary. Oh yeah, yesterday was Mike and my 2^nd wedding anniversary.

Who knew? Certainly not us. We both totally forgot. Part of the reason has to do with we think of September 27^th as the day they —the government—finally agreed to acknowledge our relationship. Everyone else had recognized it years ago. We have a different day we celebrate as our anniversary.

But much has changed in even the last two years. For one, the U.S. as a whole now recognizes our marriage. People’s attitudes keep changing as well. Those who oppose our right to marry are more and more being seen as radicals, outliers, and even bigots. That wasn’t the case two years ago. When I tell people I don’t know that I have a husband not a wife (that issue comes up a lot because we have a child and people assume) there is rarely shock or surprise. Mostly people just go ‘oh,’ and we move on. It’s becoming just another ‘thing,’ like your spouse is from Montana and not Maryland.

About ten years ago, after marriage had been legal in Massachusetts for a year or two, a funny thing happened on the way to amending the state constitution; most people stopped worrying about the need to actually do it. The process evidently takes a couple years and two legislative sessions. (I’m not sure of all the details, but my understanding is it needed to pass two different sessions in the same form before the state could vote on the change.) Marriage equality had been a reality for a couple years and people stopped, looked around and noticed, hmm, the world didn’t end. Their marriage wasn’t affected. Children weren’t disappearing in the night only to return gay. Society wasn’t crumbling around their feet. Everything had pretty much stayed the same. So they shrugged and moved on to other things that needed fixing.

The reality is, contrary to the dire predictions of those who opposed it, nothing really changes for those who aren’t LGBTQ when we get married. Slowly, the majority of the country is starting to see that. Only those who need a windmill to tilt to distract them from whatever they need distraction from are left running around yelling the sky is falling. The rest hardly even know it’s happening around them. (Until the crazies come out to scream the end is coming, than they just shake their heads and move on.)

And that leaves me in an odd position. I need to change my thinking to reflect the new reality. So from now on, I’m going to tell people we’ve been married two years going on twenty-one (and adjust up every year.). That might raise a few eyebrows, but then I can explain we’ve been together a lot longer than just two years.

Andrew Q. Gordon wrote his first story back when yellow legal pads, ball point pens were common and a Smith Corona correctable typewriter was considered high tech. Adapting with technology, he now takes his MacBook somewhere quiet when he wants to write.

He currently lives in the Washington, D.C. area with his partner of twenty years, their young daughter and dog. In addition to dodging some very self-important D.C. ‘insiders’, Andrew uses his commute to catch up on his reading. When not working or writing, he enjoys soccer, high fantasy, baseball and seeing how much coffee he can drink in a day.

Follow Andrew:

On his website: www.andrewqgordon.com,

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/andrewqugordon,

On Twitter: @andrewqgordon,

Or just email him: andrewqgordon@gmail.com

Books:

From Wayward Ink Publishing:

A Closed Door

From DSP Publications:

The Last Grand Master: (Champion of the Gods – Book 1)

The Eye and the Arm: (Champion of the Gods – Book 2)

Purpose:

From Dreamspinner Press:

(Un)Masked

Self published:

Ashes of Life