Reviewed by Vicki

TITLE: Mourning Heaven

AUTHOR: Amy Lane

PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press

LENGTH: 200 pages

BLURB:

Heroes fall.

Peter first came to the tiny backwater of Daisy, California, as a child, and he was sure of one thing: his cousin Michael would take care of him. When Michael started a friendship with the fragile, haunted Bodi Kovacs, Peter’s consolation in losing any claim to Bodi was that Michael would care for him too. But tragedy struck, and Michael ripped himself out of their world and threw away the people who loved him most.

Six years later, Michael is coming home in a box. All it took to destroy a hero was a town full of bigotry and hatred. Reclaiming him will take strength of heart that neither Peter nor Bodi had six years ago. Since Michael left, Bodi has been lost and alone. Peter can try to make Bodi his and take the role Michael should have had, but first he and Bodi have to confront the past. They will need to face Michael, the good and the bad, the beauty and the sadness, and see his memory truly for what it was and not what it could have been. It’s a simple act that may destroy them both: sifting through the flaming ruins of heaven is a sure way to annihilate a bleeding mortal heart.

REVIEW:

Before I review this book I’d like to talk about my relationship with it. I am a long time fan of Bruce Springsteen, as is Amy. Following her on Facebook and Twitter, we have had conversations over the years about Springsteen songs, and several years ago I was aware she was writing a book based around the songs on his album Magic. Specifically an epically heartbreaking song called “Gypsy Biker”. I’ll include the link to it on YouTube. You should listen to the song before you read this book… So “Gypsy Biker” is about the tragedy a family and community faces when one of its sons come home from war in a box. I have always been sensitive to this song, getting a little teary eyed just hearing it, but since reading Mourning Heaven I can NOT hear it without thinking of Michael. Yes, I read this book the day it came out, and haven’t been able to read it again. Until now. It’s time for me to do it and I want to share it. This book needs love, it needs readers, it needs appreciation. It is Amy Lane at her best.

This book is about three boys. Peter and his cousin Michael, and their love of Bodi. Michael’s mother took in Peter, her sister’s son, when he was ten. Peter was a few years younger than Michael, but they became as close as brothers very quickly. They grew up in a shit town misnamed Daisy. 2700 or so church going, god fearing, bigoted, asshole people, who managed to ruin the lives of these boys before they even had a chance. Michael was the center of Peter’s world, until Bodi came around, then Peter had two souls to worship, and he did. The older boys never treated him like he was a child, never left him behind, until they fell in love. But Peter learns of their secret and continues to follow them, appreciating the beauty that is Michael and Bodi in love. Until it all comes crashing down around them in a moment of drama and heartbreak. Michael is ruined, Bodi is ruined, and Peter is ignored and abandoned.

This story picks up six years later, we learn about the past through flashbacks from Peter’s perspective, and his conversations with Bodi. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that Michael has died, and Peter is left to fix the wreckage that he left behind. I am writing this partway through the book, and I am processing a lot of emotions generated by this book. Mostly what I am feeling at the moment is anger. Anger at Michael for being such a chickenshit and running. I’m angry at Aileen (Michael’s mother and Peter’s aunt) for her lack of humanity. Why the fuck would you tell your son you’d rather he was dead than gay? I’m angry at this town, these people, this church. I don’t understand the fear, hatred and stupidity. And oddly I’m angry with Peter. Why did he wait 6 freaking years to go to Bodi? He knew where he was! Why would he stay in a town and in a house where he was not loved or wanted? I can see staying until he graduated, but then he should have gotten the hell out of there and gone to Bodi. Bodi is the only one I am NOT mad at. He is the true victim of this story. He reminds me a little of a golden retriever, loyal and loving, but not very bright. He loves completely and feels the pain that love causes completely. He is fucked over by his mother, his sister, and his community. Then abandoned and betrayed by Michael, the man he loves, not once, or twice, but a third final time. Michael does more damage to Bodi than anyone else, and he doesn’t stay around to help fix him. That is fucked up. Bodi’s only hope for redemption is Peter. Who waits six damn years to go to him. WTF?

Yeah. I’m a bit emotional about this book. It’s not a romance, it’s not pretty or gentle. It’s not very long, and it’s hard to read. I really didn’t cry as much while reading it as I have with others Amy has written, I’m not sure why, maybe it’s that I’m more angry than sad. It’s an intimate story, involving a small number of people, and painful just to them. There are sad, heartbreaking moments, lots of anger inducing moments, some sex, but it’s not pretty romantic sex. There are also satisfying moments, especially when Peter lets loose in a church. Beautiful. It also has a good ending. I’d call it a happy ending, it’s satisfying and I believe in my heart that Bodi and Peter do live happily ever after. I know Amy questions that assumption, Bodi is still pretty fucked up, but I’m going with HEA on this one.

Anyone who calls themselves an Amy Lane fan HAS to read this book. It’s different from her others, I’m not sure how exactly, but so so good. Her writing, the plot, the characters, it’s just incredible. It’s not fluffy or light, it’s not big and sprawling, it’s not a series. It similar to Racing for the Sun, another Springsteen inspired story about fucked up men. It’s hard and cold and wonderful.

Gypsy Biker

RATING: 

BUY LINKS:

Dreamspinner

Amazon

Amazon.uk

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