“I’ve agreed to do a thing,” I tell my friend when that friend comes online (after removing the paper bag that I’ve been breathing into, of course.)

“Henley,” friend says. “Have we not already discussed the reasons-why-you-should-not-do-things thing?”

“I know…” I whine. Because, yes, I whine. Copiously. Especially to this particular friend. (Besides, in my defence these ‘things’ really only amount to that one sex party, and I totally left before anything happened. Well, and that time at the beach where I decided to ‘save’ a stingray by throwing it back in the water. Did you know those things can be deadly? It was news to me, let me tell you.)

I’ve already run through the usual things that I do when I’m trying to stretch my mind into being creative:  procrastinated on Tumblr for a couple of hours, checked Facebook, Twitter, CockyBoys, and confirmed there are no new messages on my website. You know, the ‘important’ stuff. Now I’ve resorted to politely asking my friends what they think of this new guest blog idea. (Read ‘politely asking’ as ‘desperately wailing at them to give me topics’.)

It’s not that I have nothing to say – it’s that I tend to have serious doubts over whether people want to read what it is I have to say.

I’m sorry… you write for a living then?

Yes, yes I do. Never mind that. And don’t get me off-topic little voice in my head.

The first post is always the hardest, I tell myself. I’m certain that once I get comfortable with it, the words will just come rolling out. Audience. Soapbox. Interpretation. What’s not to love, right? If all else fails, I’ll just beg everyone to love me. Seriously… love me, folks. Please. I’m Canadian. We’re adorable.

Are you planning on getting to a point anytime soon?

I am. Right now. I swear.

So, I have a friend over that night for dinner. Smart guy, educated, likes to talk about philosophical stuff (puff, puff, pass – you know the type), and he tells me that I should write a post that makes me look like a complete and utter asshole. It’s the only way, he says, to make myself popular in today’s market.

I instantly scoff and try to take his drink away as he’s obviously had enough, but he remains firm on his speculation. One merely has to look around, he tells me, and it’s more than obvious that anybody who manages to catch the public eye and hold it is a self-important, narcissistic egocentric who has no problem with making sure that everybody knows it. In other words, he continues, to be respected in any industry one has to appear smart, in control, and brutal. The only way to do that, apparently, is to be prick.

I don’t agree with him. In the least. There are plenty of celebrities out there that seem to be kind, gentle, and endearing. But his words stayed with me for quite some time after he left. Because, for one thing, I’ve seen this kind of self-absorbed and even outright-caustic attitude within our own industry. That’s right… in a genre where many, if not most of the people, have experienced unbiased phobia, hatred, and intolerance, unbiased phobia, hatred and intolerance still manages to run amuck. We have clubs on GoodReads that hide from public eyes, sending out private invitations to a select few, that serve no purpose other than to rip apart other authors for the mildest transgressions – including something as unchangeable as the gender of which that author was born. It doesn’t stop there, though. I’ve read authors whose fan bases are ninety-five percent female make posts about how women (or men, or transgendered people, or those who are white, black, brown, blue, yellow, or checkered as the case may be) shouldn’t be allowed to write this, that, or the other thing, not to mention behind-the-back comments about how disgusting and laughable their readers can be for wanting the very thing these authors are putting out. As I scroll through reviews and the fan appreciation feedback for these people, my fingers get itchy wanting to reply and let them know just what kind of people their idols are.

It’s far from just our industry, of course. But that’s the one I know, so that’s the platform I have to stand on.

The second reason why my guest’s comment stuck with me is because I can’t pull off that kind of attitude for the life of me. Narcissism makes me angry as all hell, and I think I’ve made it pretty clear what I think about back-stabbing your fans and followers. Playing hardball with antagonists, but managing to do it nicely, helps keep Karma flowing all nice and purty-like.

The thing is, I think a lot of people seek out rainbow-based fiction in order to find a safe haven. Whether the reader is straight, gay, bisexual, none of it, or all of it, they’re looking for an author who can make them feel like they’re surrounded by likeminded and supportive people, even if it’s just for the few hours while they’re reading. I honestly believe from a reader standpoint that it isn’t about fetishizing or superiority. Are there instances of it? Probably. But I’m banking on the belief that the majority of people, regardless of gender or sexuality, are looking for fulfillment and acceptance regardless of their circumstance.

So, in summary, maybe being an asshole is what you have to do to get ahead. But maybe it’s more about being an asshole to the right people, and putting an end to the judgmental holier-than-thou-ness so that we can all find the safety and assurance we’re looking for.

I know, the topic is one we’ve beaten to death. But as long as it keeps rearing its head, I guess we have to keep pounding on it.

All my love, and until next time,

AF Henley <3

~ * ~

Henley was born with a full-blown passion for run-on sentences, a zealous indulgence in all words descriptive, and the endearing tendency to overuse punctuation. Since the early years Henley has been an enthusiastic writer, from the first few I-love-my-dog stories to the current leap into erotica.

A self-professed Google genius, Henley lives for the hours spent digging through the Internet for ‘research purposes’ which, more often than not, lead seven thousand miles away from first intentions but bring Henley to new discoveries and ideas that, once seeded, tend to flourish.

Henley has been proudly publishing with Less Than Three Press since 2012, and has been writing like mad ever since—an indentured servant to the belief that romance and true love can mend the most broken soul. Even when presented in prose.

Henley’s upcoming release, “The Chase and The Catch” will hit the market on November 19th, but is available for a limited time on pre-order at a discounted cost. Check it out HERE.

For more information please stop by for a visit at afhenley.com.