Reviewed by Vicki

TITLE: Phoenix Heart

SERIES: Stolen Elements

AUTHOR: A. L. Wilson

PUBLISHER: Self published

LENGTH: approx 150.000 words

BLURB:

Phoenix Heart is set in modern times- chronicling the lives of a vampire and his human lover.  The two have traveled together since WWII, solving supernatural crimes, while battling discrimination and their own inner demons.  June 2nd holds a special place in their hearts, as it was the day that they met on the battlefield and became hopelessly entangled together.  Despite it being 70 years later, they are still as desperately devoted to one another as they were then, and on this momentous occasion; the two plan romantic outings for one another.

REVIEW:

I hate to say this but I did not finish this book. I don’t like to give negative feedback to a new author, I respect anyone who puts themselves out there and writes a book. I appreciate how much time, effort, and love goes in to writing. Unfortunately I have little good to say about this book.

I didn’t like either of the main characters, one starts out as a Nazi doctor doing research for Hitler. I was not able to connect to him at all. Even though the story takes place 70 years after the war, and he’s now a good guy, there was no visible transition for me to see. I didn’t see his redemption and could only see him as he started. The other is a good vampire, but by 25% in, I didn’t know enough about him to like him or not.

The plot was too scattered, by the time I stopped reading I still wasn’t sure what it was about. There were several things mentioned, a demon killing humans, a human trafficking ring, and a hunt for a phoenix. But lots of time as spent looking for and exchanging anniversary gifts, and not enough time establishing an actual plot. It all seemed too busy and unfocused to me. It’s possible it becomes clearer later, but by 25% I should know what the basic plot of the book is.

Then there is the writing. There was way too much description, too many details, lots of wasted space telling things that we didn’t need to know. It was also VERY repetetive. I began to notice repeated words and phrases and I started searching for them on my Kindle. Vampire is used 500 times. Their names are repeated nearly 500 times each. “Doctor” is used 278 times, “blond” 67 times. The worst one for me was referring to Cyrus as the “dark skinned vampire” over 60 times. It made me uncomfortable. Also “back and forth” was used 124 times, things happen “instantly” 102 times, and “furiously” 71 times. It goes on and on. There were some editing issues, inconsistent phrases (“dark-skinned” some times, “dark skinned” other times), a few typos, etc.

It’s also full of bad stereotypes. Cyrus, (whose name changes to Shorty at one point) the “dark skinned vampire” wears baggy pants, baggy shirts, listens to rap music, and drives a Cadillac. He speaks in this weird ghetto slang part of the time, then other times doesn’t. He’s also called “cocoa colored” and “chocolate colored” a few times. Lorenz the “blond doctor” is German, has a horrible, cheesy accent that comes and goes, has a militaristic walk, and does not smile. There is a deaf character, who’s speech was so garbled up I actually could not figure out some of his dialogue.

It all got to be too much for me and I gave up on it. I really do feel bad about this, I love paranormal m/m romance novels and I was looking forward to reading a new one. But this one was just not very good. I think there may be a story in there somewhere, with some good editing, some rewriting, it might be a decent book.

As is true with all reviews, this is just my opinion…

RATING: DNF

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