43 Responses

  1. Trix
    Trix at |

    I think a lot of people forget to be kind to themselves (myself included sometimes), and it definitely changes your perspective on the world!

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thanks, for reading Trix. I agree, when you take the time to notice what you are doing, it does change your perspective.
      Timmy

      Reply
  2. Claudia Polydoro
    Claudia Polydoro at |

    Very insightful Timmy, and so very true…
    Normally we’re all harsher on ourselves than we’re on others, Sometimes I demand more of myself than I would from others and it’s also a bullying… but I’ve learned go give myself a break and not be so demanding. I don’t have to be perfect, I’m human!!… I’m allowed to make mistakes, to be wrong, to fail sometimes, and is okay to be sad sometimes, is okay to hurt…
    But is Better when you accept yourself as you are and learn to Love yourself…
    I had some tough health problems and I realised that I had 2 ways to face it… I could wallow in self pitty or I could raise my head, face my problems and learn from the experience.
    So I decided TO BE HAPPY. Now I don’t give power to what will get me down, to small things, to small people… Now I value all the moments I have with my family, my friends, my animals… I let myself have fun doing silly things and enjoying life. It’s not easy, but it’ so worth it!!!
    Thanks Timmy for being my peep.
    <3 <3 <3

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thank you sweet Claudia for reading the post. I struggle with self-bullying and self-blaming daily. The poem in the being was me just a few short months ago. I have worked hard to get where I am not, and I have a lot of work ahead of me to get where I need to be. Thanks for being MY peep.
      Timmy

      Reply
  3. Pauline Simmons-Gordon
    Pauline Simmons-Gordon at |

    Beautiful post! Very insightful….We all need to read this over and over again….

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      It’s my hope that this helps some people see what they do to themselves ( me included). Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
      Timmy

      Reply
  4. Mel Leach
    Mel Leach at |

    Great post, Timmy! This is something everyone should read because we are all guilty of it from time to time no matter how accomplished or confident. We all have our moments of self-bullying. And it cuts to our core because how can we expect others to treat us with dignity and respect if we don’t treat ourselves with dignity and respect? What we put out into the universe is what we get back so we should all make an effort to make sure that what we exude is positive and nurturing and kind to ourselves and to others. Thank you for articulating this so well.

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      (((My Mel))) Thank you for reading, and I agree! How can I blame my low self esteem on others, when I do nothing to make it better. Maybe if I talked better to myself, then what others say won’t hurt quite as much, because I won’t believe what was said is true.
      Timmy

      Reply
      1. Mel Leach
        Mel Leach at |

        You are making wonderful progress, Timmy. We don’t get to the point of self-bullying in a day so we can’t solve the problem in a day. The important thing is to try to do better each and every day until we find that we have developed a habit of taking care of ourselves and being kind to ourselves. Slow, steady steps… you will get there. You have a beautiful heart and soul, just follow them. I’m very proud of you.

        Reply
  5. Claudia Polydoro
    Claudia Polydoro at |

    I’m so very proud of what you have achieved so far and I know you’ll keep improving daily. You’re sweet, caring, extremelly talented, a wonderful person and friend – Never forget it. I’m here for you to count on, to talk to, or to be silly with.
    Clau

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      (((Claudia))) Thank you, that means a lot to me.
      Timmy

      Reply
  6. Liliana Li
    Liliana Li at |

    What a powerful message. xx

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
      Timmy

      Reply
  7. diannehartsock
    diannehartsock at |

    Excellent post! Something for us all to think about. It’s taken me a lifetime to be able to look in a mirror and think that yes, I’m good enough, just the way I am. I wish there had been someone like you, Timmy, to to tell me to be nicer to myself. I just never thought of it as bullying. This is a very good message you’re giving us. Thank you.

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thank you Dianna. I’m so glad that you get what I was saying! Bullying comes in all forms, I have one more post that I plan to write for next month, also about bullying.
      Timmy

      Reply
      1. diannehartsock
        diannehartsock at |

        Yea! Looking forward to reading it. You’re such an insightful person, Timmy. You make me think.

        Reply
  8. sandym0327
    sandym0327 at |

    Oh, Timmy, each and every day you knock my socks off. This post is so wonderfully thought out and well written. I’m glad you wrote this, as sometimes it’s hard to be nice to ourselves. You made me see how very important it is and just how self destructive it can be. I’m so proud of you and I’m proud to call you my friend. xoxo

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      <3 Sandy <3 You are so sweet and I'm grateful to have you as a friend as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post and comment on it.
      Timmy

      Reply
  9. Aniko
    Aniko at |

    Wow! Just, wow. What an insightful and thought-provoking post. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Timmy <3 You certainly have my thinking about my own self-talk.

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Aniko, so glad it could help you! That is my goal in sharing this post. Sadly many people don’t even realize that is what they are doing to themselves. I so hope this helps.

      Reply
  10. AnnaLund
    AnnaLund at |

    Amazing insight, Tim. That person in the mirror needs a good talking to, at times.
    I learned a trick many, many years ago: I was told to lie blatantly to my mirror image, every morning, to tell it that I was a beautiful and excellent person, with a gorgeous day ahead. I did this, like clockwork, every day for months, and suddenly, one day, the words didn’t feel like lies anymore. I had heard them so many times, they started to feel like friends. Like they were actually true. Like the person in the mirror was really beautiful and excellent. The power of words and repetition.
    Hammer those words into your mirror image. Whack away! One day, you’ll beleive it.
    And when you do, I will be right there with you saying, “Yes. Exactly.”
    Thank you for this post, Tim. An excellent and beautiful exposé.

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Yes, Anna! I will try that and see if it helps me. Love you much and thanks for reading. <3
      Timmy

      Reply
  11. Lisa G
    Lisa G at |

    Thank you Cody & Timmy for a interesting and heartfelt post. You are so spot on about self-bullying – we all do it at sometime or another. This is an amazing Blog Hop – the best I can remember – so many great stories and beautiful messages – so much yet to learn.

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thanks for reading Lisa, and thank you for leaving a comment.
      Timmy

      Reply
    2. Cody Kennedy, Author
      Cody Kennedy, Author at |

      Thank you for reading and commenting, Lisa!

      Reply
  12. deeze65
    deeze65 at |

    Timmy <3 I am not surprised that yet again you take something we all do, mostly without realising it, and show us very simply and clearly what we are doing to ourselves. Like with your adult bullying post this nails it in such a clear way.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and showing us the way forward <3

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      ((My sweet Deeze)) Thank you for reading. <3 Love my peeps, you guys give me so much support. It really means the world to me.
      Timmy

      Reply
  13. Shirley Ann Speakman
    Shirley Ann Speakman at |

    Wonderful post amazing insight. When you look in the mirror you often say harsh thing to yourself, I never thought about it that way thank you I’ll try to remember that.
    ShirleyAnn@speakman40.freeserve.co.uk

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thanks for reading Shirley. I really appreciate the time you took to read and comment.
      Timmy

      Reply
  14. HAHAT 2014; Blog Hop Against Homophobia And Transphobia ( incl Giveaway) | Love Bytes

    […] Guest Post: Cody Kennedy and The Golden Rule Applies to You […]

  15. karihiga
    karihiga at |

    Thanks you for this post! You are spot on! Sometimes I am my worst critic. It’s easy to get caught up in self-hate talk. And you are right, you need to treat yourself better and encourage yourself. I think that’s an important lesson for all of us. Timmy, you are an amazing young man. I admire your your curious mind, generous heart, and your creativity. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      <3 Kari, thanks so much. I love that you guys have inspired and supported me in learning all the things I can do.
      Timmy

      Reply
  16. Jules Lovestoread
    Jules Lovestoread at |

    This is such an amazing post. It really opened my eyes to comments I often make with regard to myself. The Golden Rule as it applies to ME. Wow. It’s something that people don’t think about, and you’ve brought it to the forefront in a fantastic way, Timmy. Powerful words. Powerful message. I love that you continue to teach me about so many things. <3 <3 <3

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Thanks Jules! So happy that you like it. This post was hard for me, because I struggle with this daily, but I’m working on it.
      Love you
      Timmy

      Reply
  17. Penumbra
    Penumbra at |

    This has got to be one, if not the best, post so far on this HAHAT hop. I can honestly say that what you talk about was said in a way that I had not actually thought about before. I mean I knew it, but not in the way that you so clearly stated. Thanks, it gives me something to think about.

    penumbrareads(at)gmail(dot)com

    Reply
    1. Cody Kennedy, Author
      Cody Kennedy, Author at |

      Thank you for the wonderful compliments, Penumbra. It is truly interesting to note how we often govern ours to kindness when we think of others but aren’t so kind to ourselves. Thanks for dropping by and commenting. It’s great to see you here.

      Reply
  18. Kell Ryder
    Kell Ryder at |

    I’m glad my post gave you a new perspective to explore. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
    Timmy

    Reply
  19. chriscoxwrites
    chriscoxwrites at |

    What a strong and powerful post. So today, I will try to remember not to bully myself. And then, tomorrow, I’ll go for it again…. I’m looking forward to a bully-free day

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      You should try everyday, but that is really hard to do. Thanks for reading!
      Timmy

      Reply
  20. Terri H
    Terri H at |

    Great post! Sometimes we really are our own worst enemies, when we should be our most emphatic cheerleader. I’ll try to do better. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Kell Ryder
      Kell Ryder at |

      Yes Terri, so true! I hope that I can learn to bully myself less. This post was for me just as much as for everyone else.
      Timmy

      Reply
  21. Anna Lund
    Anna Lund at |

    Timmy, amazing insight, spot-on. Especially this:
    “Make a commitment to treat yourself with the same love, understanding, and forgiveness that you would treat others with.”
    Well said my dear friend. Well said. <3

    Reply
  22. Helena Stone
    Helena Stone at |

    Timmy, you astound me. I know everything you wrote of course – intellectually – but I’m as guilty of self-bullying as the next person and most of the time I do it to myself without even realizing what I’m doing. I don’t even make the connection when I’m moody, quiet and easy to irritate the rest of the day. Your reminder will hopefully mean I’ll be more observant and quicker to cut myself off when I enter that downward spiral.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you could see you the way I do. I’m in awe of the growth I see taking place in you with every single post you share. It may not feel like that to you but I can see you going from strength to strength and I live for the day you look in that mirror and tell the (young) man you meet there: “you know what, I think we’re all right.” As far as I’m concerned you can tell him that today…from me if not from you.

    Reply

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